Have you ever looked at the book stand at your local FedexKinkosOffice? It's one of those creep-up-on-you depressing things. 
Really, You're Broke Because You Buy This Book.
Bonus! Old picture of Pedro dying as a kitten.
I promise that I will have pictures of the Bronco one day. Either that or the dude at the shop stole it.
Cats are sleeping a lot these days. It's as if they're cold-blooded but the opposite.
You know you're getting old when you're genuinely saddened by the death of a journalist. For me, it's the second one I've gotten sad about, so maybe I'm getting really old.
R Kelly acquitted. As if this were a question. One good thing to come from all this: six or eight albums-worth of trial-based songs from Kels.
There are certain things one does when traveling to certain cities. In LA, it is getting off the plane, getting in the car, and driving directly to Roscoe's House of Chicken & Waffles.
Then we went to see Teeners and Devin. Saturday afternoon we took a drive up Mulholland and took in the scenery.
Turns out Ana has a thing about standing on cliffs. HAHA LOSER
Last time, we decided that the apartment complex they live in is Melrose Place. This time, however, we realized that it's actually Daniel and Lucille Larusso's apartment from Karate Kid, only with water in the pool. See?
Karate Kid apartment:
Teeners and Devin Apartment:
The only difference is that that fairweather friend Freddy Fernandez doesn't live there. Thanks for backing me up when Johnny beat the shit out of me in front of everybody, Freddy! Enjoy not being in a single scene for the rest of the movie!
The next day we met up with my family before the funeral, and my mom gave me what is likely the best picture ever taken of anyone. Please note my vicious belly, defiant look and my grandma's resulting amusement:
That night, Ana and I toasted to grandma's memory by enjoying a handful of 7&7s--her favorite--at the hotel bar. Hotel bars rule.
After the ceremony we decided to drive down to Newport Beach, where I spend a lot of time as a kid. I asked my mom how to get there (about 30 miles from where we were staying) and she drove me this map:
If you can't tell, it basically says "drive to the coast and take a left." My mom is amazing. But I did get to see my mom's parents' little bungalow for the first time in twenty years:
It's a one-bedroom house and it's probably worth $52,000,000 now.
I had two things I wanted to do in Newport: one, take the ferry across to Balboa Island, which was probably my favorite thing to do as a kid.
Check. Verdict: the ferry lasted all of thirty seconds. But still awesome. Also, either Keri loves the band U2, or she loves me as well.
The second thing I wanted to do was to recreate the picture of me as a kid devouring a chocolate-covered banana. Bam:
Verdict: delicious.
Other delicious things: Winchell's donuts. Particularly chocolate-covered devil's food cake Winchell's donuts. Mom got us a couple for the drive.
Then we got on the plane, looking forward to another delicious red eye. Every time it seems like a good idea when booking the tickets, and a horrible one when we arrive home with two hours before work. But whatevs.
BONUSBONUSBONUS Last week was a bad week for people I knew who were old. Archie, who had been my work's exclusive cabbie for years, passed on Wednesday. He was a great old guy who had become an honorary member of our staff and a friend. We went to his memorial service today:
Archie was a musician, and when he was a younger man he toured with the Ike and Tina Turner Review and opened for Otis Redding before becoming a house guitarist and singer in DC for more than twenty years. He performed under the stage name Art Falls. If you've the gumption, download his song called "I Want You Baby."
After work tonight, Ana and I are getting on a plane to head to my grandma's funeral in LA. Leave it to the best grandma in the world to give us a break from DC winter, and also a chance to see Martina for a couple days.
In other sad news, Poloroid is ceasing to exist. Real Poloroid, that is.
BONUSBONUSBONUS Grandma at 20:
