BRB Gotta Go Carpe Some Diem

October has been a busy month, what with the Depression upon us, and politicians serving themselves up on platters for comedians, and a new flavor of Goldfish being released: GOLDFISH XTREME FLAVOR BLASTED MONSTROUS MOZZARELLA STICK.

Eight-word review: Tastes like mozzarella sticks, and is sufficiently extreme.



The other thing about Goldfish is that you can go to their website, where you can play Goldfish-related games (Goldfish like to play basketball) with Finn (the mascot). My question: has anyone ever played these games? Is Goldfish worried that their delicious baked snack crackers are not enough, and as a result they're hedging their bets with some virtual games?

Last week we had a poker night at Matt's house (you'll remember him from Vegas this summer, a trip that we just recently decided to continue in perpetuity--particularly the part about him turning 30), and even though the odds were even for everybody starting out, he looked pretty dejected to start.


Maybe it was the fact that his hat wasn't made of gold


nor did it light up


Regardless, they have some quality can-insulators over at his house.



In other news Anne gave me this pin, which I agree with.

Photo Essay #12c: 72 Hours of Woot! Ca$h Money!, Final.

Then after dinner it's time to pay respects to venerable Vegas institution (HA HA THAT'S AN OXYMORON ISN'T IT HAHAHA) the Frontier, which is going to be blown up by Israelis very soon. The Frontier really is a great old place, though, full of old slot machines and Casino workers like ones in 80s movies.


Naturally, we sat down to play the horses. The mechanical horses, that is. The chances of winning are the same, but you don't have to worry about the ethical problems associated with real horse racing, because these horses are pieces of plastic. Really, I'm just assuming that there are ethical problems associated with real horse racing because I couldn't really say what they are.


Not sure if Derby is really the name or not, because the machine was being all snarky about it.


Then at 2am you all decide that it's a good idea to learn how to play craps. Why not? We're in Vegas! What happens here is learned for life! Then five hours pass and Steve has lots of money that he didn't have before, so it's time to take a shot of tequila.


Son of gun! There are different times of day outside!


I can't wait to be at work in 3 hours!

Photo Essay #12a: 72 Hours of OMG, This Rules Pt. 1

Itinerary:

5:00am Get off work
5:00am Get in cab
6:30am Get on plane: What do you do on your 72 hour jaunt to Vegas/LA? You upgrade, y'all. Fine imitation leather. Free 8am cocktails. SEMI-PRIVATE BATHROOM.

11:00am Arrive in Vegas
11:30am Get in car, stop for refreshments: This is what America is about. German-engineered droptops, Mexican-bottled soda pop.


While we're here, let's gamble that dollar that Joe asked us to gamble. This machine will pay him $10,000, it seems:

Nope, lost.

5:00pm Arrive in LA. Drive to what they call "The Valley" to meet Martina at her cousin's house. You may remember it from Clueless, when Cher laments having to drive there. Everyone in the valley must have a jacuzzi, just like this one:


X:00a/pm: Eat In-N-Out Burger.


7:00pm: Arrive in North Hollywood at Martina's apartment. She lives in Melrose Place.


9:00pm: Convene first-ever meeting of Beta Happa Westilon, the Big Hunt West Coast Alumni Association.

Party.

Mon, 11:00am: Visit Hollywood Boulevard to pay tribute to your (and presumably everyone's) inspiration: the incomparable star of Bedknobs and Broomsticks, Ms. Angela Lansbury.


6:00pm: Get back in car to make way back to Vegas.


11:00pm: Arrive in Vegas, Check in at hotel. Those in the know call it the "Flamin, O."

TBC, people.

Preview of Coming Attractions

So we're leaving for Vegas on Sunday morning, a trip which will include driving to LA for the day in a rented convertible. Be expecting a photo essay with some of the following:

Here I am with the Vegas sign that you only see if you are in the movies.


I LOVE GAMBLING!


I will likely also become a gold-record winning Elvis impersonator.