Forgot to post the most boring ride at the Montgomery County Fair:
And also Bigfoot, who "won" the Monster Truck Rally, which is disappointing because it involves absolutely no head-to-head action, simul-jumping, or destruction of the weaker Monster Trucks. It's just each one going after the other.
Here is me smoking a cigar in Key West. It's amazing what being an adult male at a wedding will make one do.
COME ON PEOPLE LOOK AT THIS TATTOO IT IS BOB MARLEY MORPHING INTO A LION
Hello, my name is Mikey and I'm 7 1/2 feet tall and I'm a zombie.
Ed Hardy now produces and sells chardonnay for $9.99 a bottle.
And last but not least, some place we went to in Key West had a VHS copy of Cocktail displayed prominently behind the bar. Our bartender was unsurprisingly practicing some pretty sweet flair in his downtime.
Yesterday lasted a long time. First, we test drove this, loved it, put down a deposit, will pick it up on Friday. Be prepared for pictures of driving it to Ocean City on whims in the coming months.
Next we went by to visit Teenerz, who is painting the soon-to-be-open H St. Country Club, where I took some unsolicited pictures.
This is the main floor bar:
Which includes the "locker room":
Upstairs is the putt-putt, with this gem of a loopty-loop which will likely result in multiple broken windows:
Get out of town with this rat tidal wave
and my personal favorite, the booted stretch limo horse
Lee Wheeler is responsible for all this, and he is slowly losing his mind but in the most entertaining manner.
Then we went to the Pug and hung out with two old dudes, drank whiskey and quality American beer.
Finally, Black Cat, where Tariq got all creepy-like.
Come on, Value Village! You have this kitteh wall hanging for $3.87 and expect us to walk past it? Huh? I don't know where you were brought up, Value Village, but this is not how it worked in my family.
I have had a dream, possibly from watching North by Northwest too often as a child, or possibly Frasier, of having decanters. Dream fulfilled.
Finally, making ciabatta is on the time-intensive side of things. But it is important for the realization of a sandwich vision I had a few days ago, and will reveal in due time.
Trying out first batch of dough from bookEric loaned me, I didn't have any instant yeast, so I substituted active dry yeast. Result? Did not rise. Still baked, though, and resulted in two sandwich loaves which are delicious but ridiculously heavy.
Next up: jalapeno cheddar biscuits. Perfect, right! Yes. But no. Did not add salt, so savoriness not as overwhelming as it should be. Luckily there is still peppery cheese goodness to replace it.
Finally: mourning end of last bottle of 1989 R. Lopez de Heredia Blanco Rioja. Must order more. (Thank you to Andy Myers at CityZen for introducing this wine which rulz.)
Jalapeno Cheddar Biscuits
2 cups flour
4 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons unsweetened apple butter
2 large jalapenos, minced
1 cup sharp cheddar cheese, grated
1 cup buttermilk, chilled
Directions
Preheat oven to 450 degrees.
In a large mixing bowl, combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, jalapenos, cheese, and salt. Using your fingertips, rub butter and apple butter into dry ingredients until mixture looks like crumbs. Make a well in the center and pour in the chilled buttermilk. Stir until the dough comes together and is sticky.
Turn dough onto floured surface, dust top with flour and gently fold dough over on itself 6 or 8 times. Press into a 1-inch thick round. Cut out biscuits with a 2-inch cutter, being sure to push straight down through the dough. Place biscuits on baking sheet so that they just touch. Reform scrap dough, working it as little as possible and continue cutting.
Bake until biscuits slightly browned on top, 10 to 15 minutes.
And a dog. The dog was bummed because he had to sit in the back.
People have lots of opinions about West Virginia. Two of them are right. 1) It is beautiful
And 2) terrifying. This is an abandoned gas station with an abandoned semi on blocks. If we had seen this at night I would likely have been murdered.
Before going to the Tri-State Dog Track and Slot Emporium, we had Arby's.
In Kentucky, the sandwich shop was selling Pickle Pops, with aren't pops at all but rather plastic ramekins filled with frozen pickle juice. We bought two and they were not refreshing.
You know what is refreshing? Buying 9 bottles of bourbon.
And then the proprietor gives you two pints of your favorite "for the road." Now that's a responsible liquor purveyor!
Soon after that we see Dinosaur World, which is impossible to not stop at.
Next door to Dinosaur World, of course, is a fireworks store where Teebz buys lots of illegal mortars and the like.
There are lots of videos of us shooting them off, but I'll just give you the one for now. (Hint: If you don't have the sound on it's going to be even more boring than it is already.)
Then we walked down the road acting all innocent and around the corner we find this big jail which explains why there were cops everywhere.
The next day we went to Graceland. I have sworn to recreate the TV room when I get the money. No fake. The bar is yellow vinyl.
Then in a Mississippi rest stop: the first of two great bathroom photos:
The cup says "SOAP please do not dump out the dispenser is broke"
New Orleans on a random Tuesday night: hot as hell and people trying to act like it's Mardi Gras. Bummer. Recommendation: find 24-hour bar playing Death Wish 3. Take a picture of its bathroom.
In Austin, it was time for Roadtoo. Specifically, bald eagle carrying booze and fireworks.
After staying in Motel 6es for four nights, we noticed that the skier/boxer on the comforter has an arm that looks suspiciously like a red rocket. I'm guessing that life as a designer for Motel 6 bedspreads yields little excitement.
Today was the first really beautiful Spring day in DC. Brisk, sunny, mid-60s, perfect for eating with the thousands of other flip-flop-clad white people who love eating outside so very much. So we did the only thing we could think of: go underground in the suburbs to our favorite bar at the moment, the Quarry House. The booze there is good, but the fried pickles are hamazing.
This is old, but it was at a point when I didn't have my camera, just like now. Although I've been told it is shipping. But everyone is a liar, so I don't believe it yet.
But anyways. Looks! Teebz and I at Chili's! We're both former ChiliHeads, you know. Coupla specialty 'ritas for the two of us! MMM!
Ed Hardy now produces and sells chardonnay for $9.99 a bottle.
