Two Reviews in One Day OMG ICBITIFA

In his review of this phlog, Patrick asked for more reviews of things he'd like to eat. Two months later, I get around to it.

Behold something I'm betting Patrick likes to eat Vol. 1:

STAR CRUNCH

Star Crunch, for the sad and pathetic among you who don't know, is a Little Debbie product consisting of the following, probably: chocolate, caramel, rice crispies, soy lecithin.

First off, the packaging:

1. The shit is 35 cents. Can't beat it.
2. Star Crunch is not a meal, people. It is a snack.
3. Since there is nothing star-related in the snack itself--it would be more aptly named ChocoCrispyCrunch, in my opinion--Little Debbie had to add some star bursts to justify calling it Star Crunch. Which is cool with me.

Now the product:

The delicious center is chocolatey and gooey, true, but the true joy of eating a Star Crunch is in the anticipation. See it is imperative that one nibble off the outer coating of rice crispies--which are lightly coated in chocolate and really don't have much taste or texture and aren't very rewarding at all as far as snacks are concerned--before taking a full bite. Withholding that immediate sensory pleasure makes the experience that much more rewarding. Believe it.

In other news here's the tentative route for Road Trip USA, set to leave June 1:


View Larger Map

So here's your job, people. Give us places to visit in the following cities:

1. Pittsburgh
2. Columbus, OH
3. Cincinnati
4. Louisville
5. Bowling Green, KY
6. Nashville
7. Memphis (aside from the obvious)
8. Jackson, MS
9. Baton Rouge, LA
10. Houston

PS: ICBITIFA = I Can't Believe It This Is Fucking Awesome

A Trip to the Báhn Mì Shop

The high temperature today is around 28 degrees. In other news, the heat in our house doesn't really "work." So best idea: go to different Pho restaurant, where they have heat and soup.

Different Pho (50) was okay, but 75 is still better, as everybody knows.

Good thing is that Pho 50 is right next to a Báhn Mì shop. Since I recently learned from the Washington Post that Báhn Mì is "in" for 2008, while panini is "out," it was a no-brainer: go get some in-sandwiches! Up yours, panini! I never liked you anyways!

The good thing about the shop was that it had all sorts of great sundries. Here's a smattering:

1. Shrimp Snacks: A Vietnamese sandwich shop is not a Vietnamese sandwich shop without shrimp-flavored snack treats. These particular ones are Bar-B-Que flavor, which means that it's basically like a cookout in a bag, shellfish-style.


2. While you're at it, how about some baked squid-flavored Pringles? I don't know if they're actually Pringles, but they should be.


3. The Vietnamese sandwich shop is your one-stop shop for all your vegetarian food needs! Just two tablespoons in the aquarium once a day, and your vegetarian will grow a healthy and luxurious coat!


4. Need dessert? Sure you do. Man cannot live on sandwiches and fried sea-creature snacks alone. Man requires green pie. I do not care if it's by the slice or the whole. Give it.


Final review: sandwiches not as good as the place in San Francisco from where I transported five sandwiches with me on the plane back home, but still good.

BONUSBONUSBONUS If we didn't have a fireplace I may very well have died by now.


DOUBLEBONUSBONUS Another old comic (that's right, sometimes I used pseudonyms):

Best Work Snack Ever

Before:

(two pork tenderloin medallions, cracked pepper, salt, basil, red pepper flakes, olive oil)

After:


Yums.