Road Trip USA Over; Dispatches Collated

Sunday, June 1, 2008 9:18am -- On our way. Might have just broken Teebz' car on a curb tho so this might be a short trip.

Sunday, June 1, 2008 10:40 AM -- Teebz' mom packed us egg salad and bologna and cheese sandwiches, and rice crispy treats. Moms rule.

Sunday, June 1, 2008 3:36 PM -- Time has passed and my neck hurts, so I'm guessing that I just slept through much of Virginia. Up next: Roanoke. FINALLY.

Sunday, June 1, 2008 7:55 PM -- In WV, bypassed a place called 'biscuit world' against my better judgement. Hoping it won't come back to haunt me.

Sunday, June 1, 2008 11:52 PM -- While playing nickel slots at the tri-state dog track, Teebz comments that it is depressing.

Monday, June 2, 2008 10:57 AM -- Discussing what Roadtoos we should get. Some pretty choice shops in KY.

Monday, June 2, 2008 11:12 AM -- Within a mile we just passed an airport named after a horse, a castle under construction, and a Christian radio station.

Monday, June 2, 2008 12:56 PM -- Just purchased 8 bottles of bourbon, further complicating the seating situation.

Monday, June 2, 2008 3:10 PM -- Stops at Dinosaur World and fireworks shop were, unsurprisingly, massively successful.

Monday, June 2, 2008 4:44 PM-- Teebz' dog (Dignan) just leaned out the window and shot off a roman candle.

Monday, June 2, 2008 7:18 PM -- Stopping to eat at Lone Star Steakhouse in TN. Because Teebz is moving to Texas and dudes eat at steakhouses.

Tuesday, June 3 1:06 PM -- I want to live in Graceland. This place is amazing.

Tuesday, June 3 2:27 PM -- Been in Mississippi for fifteen minutes and not a single burning cross. Hollywood stereotypes crushed.

Tuesday, June 3 3:12 PM -- The green mileage signs on the side of the highway are full of towns that I have no desire to visit. Sorry, Mississippi.

Tuesday, June 3 4:52 PM -- Retract the last one. I wouldn't mind hanging in Yazoo City for a minute.

Tuesday, June 3 6:05 PM -- Just tipped 19% for dinner at Chili's, which for me is like flicking the server off and burning the place down.

Tuesday, June 3 6:17 PM -- To clarify, it's because me and Teebz are both ex-chiliheads. And my Big Mouth Burger had mayo on both sides.

Tuesday, June 3 9:29 PM -- Proven fact: Louisiana has more bugs per capita (BPC) than any other state.

Wednesday, June 4 5:26 PM -- So far everything in Texas is regular-sized. What does this mean? That Texans are liars.

Wednesday, June 4 9:42 PM -- Arrived in Austin. Checking in to our fourth Motel 6 because it always keeps its promises. And shirtless dudes hanging.

Wednesday, June 4 2:51 AM -- Watching a crossover episode of Wings/Cheers that I never knew existed. Norm and Cliff drinkin at Sandpiper Air!

Thursday, June 5 2:20 PM -- Preparing to get roadtoos.

Thursday, June 5 5:17 PM -- Sign of successful road trip is when you get a tattoo of an eagle holding a bottle of booze and a stick of dynamite.