McGillmas Obsvd: Lasertag Edition

Since Joe shares a birthday with our Lord and Savior, we generally wait until after the holidays to observe it once everything is digested. This year, it was LaserTag in Virginia, somewhere.


Joe somehow finds a dragon/medieval-themed LaserTag joint. He likes those kinds of things.


In our party room, along with snacks and soda pop, the LaserTag people had included a real downer magazine display.


The signage at ShadowLandsLaserTagFamilyFunCentre was choice, and included a place where you can Create-A-Friend:


and get briefed



It also requires its attendees to come up with an alias. Ana: CHALUPA OF PAIN


Me: DEATHBLOW


In between rounds, old people tend to stand around and play skee-ball in silence.

Then later, Laura says she likes my blog. PANDERTIME

Christmas is for Art

Since Ana celebrates holidays by contracting the plague, I went to Giant this afternoon to get some things for her healing serum. Giant on Christmas: overrun by Salvadoreans and fashionistas like this kid.


Last night:

Holiday Cheer FAIL

From the kitchen at work, via Ana:

Thanksgiving: Comeuppance Edition

Ana barfed all day yesterday, which is ironic because a) she's Seinfeldian in her barfing tendencies; and b) it was Thanksgiving, which is a holiday formed around eating, which is one of her favorite pastimes. This can only mean that she was being punished by God.

Luckily for me, she felt good enough to still make it to dinner at the Tabard Inn, where I had this magnormous pork tenderloin chop. Unlucky for her, she had one bite of her meal and almost barfed. Not because it was gross.


Then she didn't feel up to going to Black Cat, which is a great DC tradition, but I did, so I left her at home. Shortly thereafter, Safia hijacked my phone and took some pictures:


Know who wasn't punished by God? Me

Xmas Miraxles

When booking flights, it always seems like the best idea to leave early and come back late, so as to maximize the amount of vacation time. In practice, though, it's probably the worst idea ever. Working all night before having to catch a 6am flight is brutal. Especially now that I'm old. The wrinkles on my forehead? Not even a month old.


Luckily, the hotel we checked into when I got to town was underwater. Granted, the dolphins were really small, but it's great for the complexion to sleep completely submerged.


Murals are really big in San Francisco. You can't see, but at the far left there is a depiction of Jerry Garcia walking into the ether. This place is on Haight Street. Self-consciousness apparently hasn't made its way over there yet.

I was going to concoct an entire narrative for the trip, including fake events and people, but I have to be at work in an hour so that idea will have to wait. In its place are real events and people like Ana and her little brother at the corner store that sells pre-packaged cocktail-making kits for those who need a little help:


Then there's her nephew, who likes to spin around and act like a Power Ranger. Here he is utilizing his patented stay-awake method:


Ana and I had a very special vacation staring contest, which I won.


Then she posed for possibly the best portrait ever taken:


Next are two montages. First, Ana with brother and sister doing some dancing and posing:


Next is Clarissa with Ana at dinner (for those in the Bay area the restaurant is Weird Fish on Mission. Delicious). They move alot when they talk.


I bought an animatronic frog for the nephew's Christmas present. The box included some amazing slogans:


Ana learned to shapeshift:

Then we ate steak:


There was this cat that hangs out at the corner store and looked at me funny, so I gave it the what-for:


So all in all it was a pretty good holiday, obvs.


BONUSBONUSBONUS

Teeners is back!


Also, what is wrong with celebrities and why can't they laugh like regular people? Is stuff really that funny to them?

Deffo Presents: Vacation Videoz

Everybody that I've seen since we got back from San Francisco has been all dude, please, where are the videos? Please, something! Maybe of small children we don't know? Well, wait no longer, everybody. Here's a sampling:

1. Ana says "Hey! Take a picture of me jumping from this bed to that bed!" I take video instead. Good decision.



2. Shopping at Target for Ana's 3-year old nephew when I stumble on a cache of Frogz, which are animatronic frogs that sing popular music. I bought this one. After giving it to the nephew, he kissed it on the forehead. Kid recognizes a good thing when he sees it.



3. Ana acts like she's taking my picture and instead attacks my face with the camera. Payback.



4. Possibly the best video of all time: Nephew spinning.

Holiday Times USA

Ana left for San Francisco ("San Fran" for those in the know) yesterday, so I've been doing this:


I've realized that I have the ability to be very, very boring. FYI.

In other news about boredom, gander this picture of my bar on Saturday night:


Yep. Freezing rain sure does scare away the suburbanites.

Expect some northern California-related goodness in the next week or so. Until then, happy Joemas!