Best New T-Shirt Idea I Could Come Up With

Thanks, DC, for doing this now instead of, say, a year ago.

Also, I think I'm going to have a talk with Michelle about this.

KEEP D.C. BORING (THIS TIME WITH LINK)

Sorry, forgot to link to the actual shirt.

Dinner + Buy a Commemorative Shirt for Something that You May Want to Forget

New bread recipe is good, if a little time-consuming.




Pork remains delicious.


Mini pork tenderloin sandwich:


I really need to overcome my dependence on Sriracha. That or develop a Sriracha bread.

+++Shirt design is complete. Go here to buy (feel free to change the shirt style).

More Ideas for Sunday Funday ++

After some discussion, Senior persuaded me that instead of Sunday Funday Whiskey and Gun Day III: The Dawn of the Eve of Destruction, we should completely bypass III and move directly on to IV. This way we could dramatically increase the storytelling ability, since nobody could reasonably argue that we were lying, since they obviously wouldn't have been there. In ten years, we'll be able to tell people that Joe blew his hand off in a pyrotechnics accident during III and he is now working with a bionic hand.

It also give a number of new naming choices, including my personal favorite, Sunday Funday Whiskey and Gun Day IV: Horsemen of the Gunpocalypse. I am even looking forward to everyone wearing a commemorative t-shirt, to fully geekify the weekend.


Please weigh in with your ideas about the design and/or slogan before I actually post it for sale.

While watching Death Wish 3 again a couple days ago, for the first time I thought I'd look into how much getting one of Bronson's amazing custom pistol would cost me. Since it's legal now and all.

While the price is prohibitive ($3k for a once-a-year, possibly homicide-inducing toy seems a bit much), if you have the means you might as well pick up the 18" barrel edition, complete with scope:


Also! My friend Jessica gives a shout. And I shout back. Hi!

MurphDay 2008 + Hot New Cocktailz

Today is MurphDay, and yesterday was MurphDay Eve. Murph got a lot of cheese.


CLOSEUP: MURPHSHIRT


TBz was there:


In other news, while having game night at some toddlers' house the other night we invented a new cocktail. It is delicious, it tastes like bubble gum, and it should always be enjoyed in a martini glass on the rocks.

[ 2oz Stoli Raspberry Vodka
3/4oz Malibu Coconut Rum
two dashes Agistora Angostura bitters]

Vegas Here We Come

The dude on the left is turning 30 so we're going to Vegas. They are wearing matching Mickey Mouse shirts. Anyhoos, Vegas rules, remember?

How to Waste Your 200th Post: More T-Shirts

This'll probably be it for a while.

TSHIRT BINGE EXTRAVAGANZA

This is what I did with my Saturday. Maybe one day you will be on a t-shirt! Probably not though.

The lolcat Shirt You've Been Waiting for is HERE

DEFFOVERSARY PHLOGIVERSARY CLIP PHLOG OMG PLUS CONSUMER WATCH 2000 PLUS BEST GIFT EVER

On this day one year ago, we experienced the DC judicial system from within, which somehow prompted me to begin phlogging. A year later, and how far we've come! I've phlogged about things 147 times. That's once every two and a half days!

Mostly it has had to do with cats, but also other things sometimes.

What do I have for you lo on this wondrous phlogiversary? A quick look into the nefarious innerworkings of corporate America!

See, a couple weeks ago I needed a suit, so I went to Bloomingdale's. Natch. They had a sale. Bernard (my fashion consultant) hooked it up

(Ana is her own fashion consultant) and even persuaded me to open up a Bloomingdale's account.


Not only an insider, people. PREMIER INSIDER. I saved $47.

I'm pretty sure the only other store credit card I've ever had was for Structure, which I opened with the purchase of a pair of cargo pants and never paid.

But anyway. I received my card in the mail last week, but it wasn't accompanied by a bill or a billing address, or my balance. So I went online to pay it off today (I'm pretty sure the APR is somewhere around 47%), and after a thorough search of "Bloomies" (premier insider jargon) online, I realized that it is impossible to pay one's Bloomingdale card balance on the internet.

I then called customer service, which told me that I could pay my balance at any Bloomingdale's store. That seemed like a hassle, so I asked if I could pay over the phone. Sure, they said, but it's going to require a $10 processing fee. Those damned corporations! Geniuses! I paid the $10.

Thus concludes my consumer lesson for 2008.

BONUSBONUSBONUS I forgot to include a picture of Ana's secret santa gift from Abe a couple weeks ago, so here it is: The Best Present Ever:

Now, I know you can't read it, so here's the transcription:

ANYONE FUCKS WITH ANA
GETS HACKED UP AND SEALED
IN A 55 GALLON DRUM

I particularly like the specific nature of the threat.

Saturday Night Camera Phone Dump

Alot has happened on my phone lately. First, for some reason I used it to capture Colin working the ladies when I had a perfectly working real phone at hand:


He swore that he needed just five more minutes. Next time, Collard Greens, next time!

Also, Murph posed:


Before that, a couple of us went to DC's hottest only after-hours spot, wherein we were stuck for two hours in silence while the coppers tried to pinch us.


If I were 17, it would've been a great story. But I'm not. The coppers would've needed to actually pinch us for it to be a great story at 30.

I finally got my shirt. It's surprisingly high in quality and awesomeness:


And finally, Teebz turned 19! Here he is asking for his keys:

I'm Going to Start Calling Everyone I Hate "Lord Mayor"

In reviewing my dad's exhaustive genealogical research, I found out that my great-great-great-great-great-great-
great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-
great-great-great-great Grandfather was the mayor of London. His title? Lord Mayor. In other words, my family was a big deal in the mid-14th century.

We're pretty much all broke commoners these days.

Maybe we weren't really a big deal to start with. It turns out that the plague arrived in London right before he became mayor, and I'm guessing that it must be pretty easy to be the mayor of a town where everybody's dead or dying.

So maybe "Lord Mayor" was a euphemism for something much less important. Like how people call people "boss" when they really mean "I think I'm better than you."

I also designed another t-shirt, for some reason.

Pencil Got You on the Run?

Nobody really responded to the call for t-shirt ideas, so I had to come up with my own. To do so, I once again dipped into the font of comic strips I drew in college. This is one of the earliest, and still one of my favorites:

All yours for $19. MADE IN THE USA, people.

If I sell 2 (including myself), consider this a regular feature.

DeffoTotesStoreTimeUSA: a Place for You to Buy T-Shirts I Thought of While Drinking

Another Year Older and More Stuff, Plus+++!!!

Hey, Gang! I'm 30! The big 3-0! Over the hill! The new 20! For the festivities, all I asked for was what every red-blooded 30-year old would want: ice cream cake, candy, stuffed animals, t-shirts, DVDs, comic books and sneakers. Guess what? Mofos came through.

First, Noms got her friend who owns a Baskin-Robbins (we know people) to make an ice cream cake with a picture of me eating a frozen banana on it.


It was delicious.

Corrie and Jordan got me candy. M&Ms make dark chocolate peanut candy now. Game over.


Next, Wendy and Mikey got me a stuffed wildcat, which is the product of an extended inside joke that is much too bad to be shared here. Luckily, the stuffed wildcat can talk, which is just awesome enough to share here:

Joe got me T-Shirts from the show that he attended before the party; they're pretty awesome, but not nearly as awesome as the gift he gave me the next day.

Naomi got me this one:

Greg and Kyle gave me this picture:

Brian, who came as Michael's emissary (for some reason he couldn't make it--something about being "stranded" in "Japan"), gave me a "Lady Catchin' Sac." This means that he doesn't like Ana. Don't tell.

First part of the Lady Catchin' Sac is a DVD wherein Lyn teaches me some magic tricks:

Next is some sounds of puppies, kittens and more, with which to melt the hearts of the ladies:

And finally, fireside reflections with which to bed the ladies. I haven't tried the system yet, but I'm pretty sure it's failproof.

Other Brian gave me what looks to be the best family-friendly DVD of all time, starring Rupert Grant of Harry Potter fame:

That's right! It's about a youngster who can't stop farting and goes into space!


Kyle gave me fancy comic books. Perfect for eating candy with.



Joe got me some Atlanta-themed sneakers, which he thought I'd be interested in for some reason. Look! Atlanta likes sports cars!


Finally, Murph got me Windows XP so I could use my new phone. I decided, however, that it would be cooler to just wipe out my entire hard drive instead. How am I supposed to understand these directions?

I'm not, I say.

So I call Murph and tell him that compruter no work, and he proceeds to roll by and spend the next ten hours typing in "commands" into "interfaces" that in the end allow him to find most of the stuff that I erased. Thank God: a year's worth of pictures of my drunk friends have not been lost to the ether.


That, and then later Jesus gave me birthday snow!


BONUSBONUSBONUS

PJ's absentee owner requests an update.

Update: PJ still running the shit:


Look! Video proof that PJ is alive!