Monday, January 18, 2010
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
So Florida was okay.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Honestly, when you're a kid, what is the most awesome thing ever? Limousines. And possibly Slayer. We just decided to combine the two, that's all.
THE CEILING WAS MIRRORED
THERE WERE LITTLE PLASTIC STRANDS WITH LIGHTS ON THE END OF THEM
This is how McGill figures one drinks Champagne while riding a limo to a metal concert.
Murph hears metal, limo-surfs, accidentally stops the CD.
We do not know this guy, but he's wearing a shirt that looks like Teebz.
If I had seen my wrist when I was 15, I wouldn't have believed it. VIP for Slayer?!? As an aside, no advantage was taken of the VIP status, unfortunately. No tour buses, no ladies. Sigh.
Stage on fire. Lower left: dude with wicked farmer tan/tribal.
The traditional greeting at a Slayer concert.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
1. While rehanging a menu board, I knocked this plaster Alka-Selter demon off a ledge and onto my coworker's forehead. No concussion, probably.
Promptly thereafter, the soda gun stopped working.
While trying to fix it, barback slices his finger open and has to go to the emergency room to get stitches. We get to pour mixers out of two-liter bottles for the rest of the night.
Approximately an hour later, credit card processing ceases to function. Cut to me making obscene gestures at the registers multiple times, to no avail. For approximately 45 minutes operations cease because PEOPLE DON'T CARRY CASH. We break out these things
which are old-timey. Bonus: no tip line! Then McGrillz figures out how to fix it.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Today is a hodgepodge, largely because I have these three unrelated pictures and not very much interest in relating them.
Exhibit 1: Customer pays, I am on board with this. Joe shoves his head in the corner for good measure.
The Pug is a true neighborhood bar. How can I say this, you ask? It's only been open for a couple years!! I argue that the presence of an IOU in a bar constitutes neighborhoodiness. And there's one, right behind the apparition, stuck to the bell.
31 years later, I get my first pair of cowboy boots. Now I have to get jeans that can accompany them. These citified jeans I've been wearing are not gonna hack it.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
So we went to Maryland somewhere yesterday (to get there: Take a right on New Hampshire Ave and keep going forever) to hang out with Ana's sister and her two boys. Here's the one, who opened the afternoon with a little quiz for yours truly:
Kid: Hi what are you doing here
Me: I'm here with your Aunt to hang out with your mom.
Kid: Ok. Do you like X-Men?
Me: (LYING) Sure
Kid runs to get some action figures, brings them back.
Kid: What's your name?
Kid: Ok you'll be Scott (holds up the super-lame X-Man with the laser eyes or whatever).
Me: (BUMMED) Ok
Kid holds up a blue X-Man.
Kid: This is Beast.
Kid holds up another X-Man.
Kid: Who is this?
Me: (Immediately pissed that the kid has sensed my lack of knowledge about and general dislike for his favorite things ever) Uh, I dunno.
Kid: (Disgusted) Ugh. CoLOssus.
I walk over to Ana and her sister and sit down.
The thing about me and certain things, like the X-Men and the Princess Bride, is that I don't like them. For no reason, really, other than that I decided not to like them somewhere along the way. The X-Men, I figure, is basically just Harry Potter with adults; I don't like Harry Potter, so ipso facto etcetera ergo proctor hoc I don't like X-Men.
Which isn't a big deal until a kid challenges you on it and you lose.
You know who didn't quiz me about kid stuff? This one, who is basically a painting by a Dutch Master.
Bonus: Cat pouting under a stool
and three adult males wearing Mickey Mouse shirts.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Int., a bar. A woman who has purchased the same drink twice using cash ($6) returns for a third time.
Woman: Hi! Can I have another?
I make the drink and set it in front of her.
Woman: I only have $5. Makes gritting-teeth face. Can I---?
I take drink back.
Me: Doesn't really work that way. Come on back when you get $6.
Woman lets out maniacal laugh.
Woman: HAHAHAHAHAHA I KNEW THAT WOULD HAPPEN HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I JUST KNEW IT