Palindrome of 24 Hours in New York = Kroy Wen ni Sruoh 42 fo Emordnilap

For Ana's birthday we went to New York, but you already know that. We took the TRAIN. That's what people did in the old days.


Like any trip, the whole purpose is to eat. First stop: Cafe Habana. Sandwich was so good that Ana took a bite even though there was a mayonnaise-like substance on it.


The best part, though, was that this guy


was there, dressed like he meant it. He seemed to be channeling Noah Taylor's character in Almost Famous. It's groups of people like this (cf. the girl on the left) that I see in New York that make me sad.

Anyways. After that we shopped or something in order to kill time before eating again, this time at Prune, which Ana's wanted to go to since she was born. And it wasn't even open then.


Up front: Prune might be the best restaurant in the world, ever. If food bores you, scroll down for depressing pictures of Coney Island.

First: radishes with butter and salt. If you gave me this dish when I was 12, I would've smacked you in the face and not apologized. Now, I order it of my own free will. It's good.


Next: kale with soft eggs in a Parmesan butter sauce. EGGS FOR DINNER, PEOPLE. This lady is breaking all the rules. Again, me at twelve would give you a punch in the nose if you set this in front of me, and again, it's good.

Next: stewed pork shoulder with salsa verde. It's served in big chunks with a spoon and it falls apart with the slightest pressure. Pork shoulder sounds like it would be stringy, but pigs are fat and their shoulders wonderfully tender.


Next: soupy rice with lobster and squid. It's a little thing, but this restaurant is good at words too. Putting "soupy rice" before "lobster" is probably some sort of unforgivable menu sin, but it's the right description and it sounds gross to you then you probably shouldn't have it anyway.



You totally got eaten. That's all the food for now.

The meal was so good that Ana left her wallet at the restaurant. Sad Ana:


But the people there are nice and found it for her. Happy Ana:

What do you do after a flawless meal? Go to the dirtiest bar in the world and take a picture of the bathroom, natch.


Coney Island is going to be blown up and sunk into the Atlantic Ocean next month, so we decided to go visit even though the Sideshows by the Seashore and Astroland are all boarded up.


Thank god this guy is keeping an eye on stuff.


Wait, this doesn't look very depressing! That ferris wheel looks fully operational. There aren't any stray dogs, even!


Ok, this'll do. Close-ups of chainlink fence are impossible to make undepressing.


Anything, however, can be made undepressing by a corndog.


Totonno's, you have chosen your fate: Shenanigan's can tell you about it.


Fact: Russians have the ability to move anywhere and Gulagify a place. Look! They sell DVDs and Videos at this jail, but they call it BNAEO NPOKAT. Weird.


BONUSBONUSBONUS: Ana on Law & Order

CHUNG CHUNG

Two Thing Saturday

First of all, the hoodie is just as vicious as one could hope for:


And second of all, we're going to New York tomorrow for Ana's birthday. I made myself some notes so I can walk around like I know things when I really don't:


Expect amazing pictures next week, and maybe I'll see if I can't livephlog from Prune.

Photo Essay #8: Baltimore is Hot These Days

Yes, Baltimore is hot. Only not meteorologically speaking. Really, it is the same as the rest of the Mid-Atlantic: coldish. But we made the day trip anyway, because there are certain things one just must do. We had goals, after all. Big ones.

We got up early. Check the weather! Check! Looks good! Blue skies!


Head on down to Union Station. Bustle, bustle, miss 1:20 MARC train. It's okay, though! Let's grab a Happy Meal!


Shit, they're putting really creepy dolls in Happy Meals these days. I would've been pissed and scared to get this thing when I was 8:

Woot! 2:15 train to B'More! We're all excited for the camera, all at the same time! Without any Photoshopping, even!


Seriously!


I mean, how could one not be excited about rolling up to Charm City when dudes like this are coming with?


That hair and complexion needed a triptych if it were to be done justice.

But here we are! Baltimore, City of Lights! City of Industry and the By-Products Produced Therein! This picture is actually in focus:


First stop: Fell's Point, to meet this kid, who is eating blue cotton-candy-flavored ice cream. He resembles a young Violet Beauregard, does he not? But he is not greedy, nor did he need to be juiced.

Also, his mom might've been the best mom in the world, because she was laughing as hard as we were. She told us that she wanted to have a bite of his cone until he decided to add Butterfinger chunks into the mix. That kid is a genius.

While we were talking to the kid these two guys asked us to answer questions for a movie they were making. We said yes. Its randomness threw me off guard:

Him: What is the most important thing in the world?
Me: You've asked the wrong person, man. Sorry.
Him: No, no. What's the most important thing in the world to you?
Me: Money.
Him: What's next?
Me: Sex.
Him: What's next?
Me: Things.
Him: What's next?
Me: Food.
Him: What's next?
Me: Jesus.
Him: What do you know about blood?
Me: (pause) Not much.
Him: Anything.
Me: Seriously, not much.
Him: What are the three kinds of blood cells?
Me: Red, white and hemoglobin. (Right Answer: Platelets. Damn.)
Him: Where is blood produced?
Me: The heart. (Marrow. I've given up.)
Him: Why are you here?
Me: To go shopping.
Him: No, why are you here? (Implying in the grand scheme of things.)
Me: To go shopping.

Turns out he was doing a infomercial for a blood disease foundation or something, which was to begin with some man-on-the-street clips. I was relieved. Otherwise it would've been weird. Oh, and he complimented our footwear. But I only have a picture of mine, surprisingly:


Second stop: Food. We happened by Brewer's Art, which has great tap handles for its beer. Especially Resurrection Ale, which was probably a hit this past weekend:

And finally, on to the pool hall our friend Stevie Pants manages. Ana showed the surprising and shocking ability to create balls out of thin air with only brute force:


But the true purpose of any trip to Baltimore is to see the new Boxer puppy that your friends just acquired:

That face is made for TV.

Make the last train back with 30 seconds to spare, and you've got yourself a successful day trip. But I forgot! It's made all that much more perfect by my purchase of Knight Rider Season One (which comes with the complete Knight Rider 2000 Movie and a full manual for KITT, which I'm going to need when you people finally come through with the cash). See? Again without the Photoshopping: