Poor-Quality Neighborhood Pictures: Lawn Lion, Alien, Pizza

There's a new pizza place a couple blocks from us that acts like it's all good and everything so we tried it today. Verdict: it's hell of good. Look: between us we got three slices and a sorbillo and I didn't think to take a picture until this was all that was left:


On the walk home I saw two houses I've been meaning to take pictures of for a while. The pictures didn't turn out so good but so what.

First: A bay window with a green plastic alien wearing an "Impeach Bush" necklace poster. People are shameless.

Second: A large plaster (?) lioness lawn sculpture.


Jenny Miller answers the question I've been wondering about for months.


Best LOLCAT ever

CoHa Here We Are

As new residents of Columbia Heights, I'm going to use the made-up term "CoHa" as much as possible to describe our new neighborhood. FYI.

Moving was fairly painless, except for the pain that still lingers from carrying things, and Punk has really taken to the new place.


She likes looking out windows. She also likes houses with no dogs. She also loves America's Best Dance Crew.


She also loves sleeping in the bed. NOT FOR LONG PUNK


Pedro, on the other hand, is a crybaby who is scared and hides all the time like a total baby


Soon we will be having cookout times on the front porch.

This guy at work on Tuesday asked me four or five times for a glass of milk, which we don't have, because, he said, "it would be funny." I disagreed. He stayed strong until the end:


Have you seen the new five dollar bills? When did the treasury hire the Teletubbies to design our money?

Photo Essay #6: Luchy, Luchi, Luche!

SO YOU WANT TO BE A LUCHADOR. This is understandable. Where to begin? So many options, so many requirements! I'll tell you this right now--start from the beginning. And the beginning, as any true Luchador will tell you, is beading the rattail. This, my friends, is why you NEVER CUT YOUR RATTAIL. Make jokes about it, sure, just don't cut it. Otherwise, you won't be able do attain this:


What's next? We all know what's coming. Say it with me! Quality Domestic Beer.


Next! The Lucha mask is mandatory. The tougher-looking, the better.


Then come the capes and spandex, and photo-poses. Without a quality photo-pose, what are you going to be doing when someone takes a photo? Just standing there?


Here's another example of a good photo-pose.


And one more:


What is being a Luchador, I ask, without the wrestling? It is only posturing! Decide on a signature move, and name it. Preferably, the name of the move will be related to the sound your beaded-up rattail makes, and it will look good on your cape.


That's onomatopoeia, y'all.

Next, find a transient and practice your signature move on him.

Then do some more photo-posing.


And some more. Photo-posing, you may have noticed, is vital to the Luchador experience.


As is running around with one's cape flapping in the wind.


And at the end, all that is left is the piñata. True Luchadores forego the piñata stick and just rip the thing open with their bare, deadly hands.