PUANTBOM + I Am Losing My Identity

At work yesterday some dude asked if I work at Black Cat too. No, I told him, you're thinking of Chad.

Me: Some dude just asked me if I work at Black Cat too. This is getting out of control.
Chad: No one ever thinks I work at Big Hunt.
Me: Up that.
Me: I'm gonna hire a publicist.
Chad: We should switch places for a day. Like on Sister Sister.
Me: Ok. Also I'm going to start a poster campaign called Scott Not Chad
Me: Or wear a t-shirt that says "Not Chad"
Chad: FWIW, no one ever asks me if I'm Chad or work at the Black Cat either.
Me: IWN=It's Worth Nothing. Ur dead to me.
Me: Oops I mean UDTM
Chad: Should I take your number out of my phone?
Me: Not if you want to know who's texting you death threats
Me: Although I guess I could just save them and tell them to you on Mondays
Chad: I bet your customers are happy about all your texting.
Me: They're not allowed to care. I forbid it
Me: PUANTBOM = Plus U Are Not The Boss Of Me
Chad: Hey, I wasn't telling you to get to work. I'm glad you're taking charge of your time.
Me: It helps when you have great disdain for your customers. Which you may understand.
Chad: That's why people confuse us.

Two Reviews in One Day OMG ICBITIFA

In his review of this phlog, Patrick asked for more reviews of things he'd like to eat. Two months later, I get around to it.

Behold something I'm betting Patrick likes to eat Vol. 1:

STAR CRUNCH

Star Crunch, for the sad and pathetic among you who don't know, is a Little Debbie product consisting of the following, probably: chocolate, caramel, rice crispies, soy lecithin.

First off, the packaging:

1. The shit is 35 cents. Can't beat it.
2. Star Crunch is not a meal, people. It is a snack.
3. Since there is nothing star-related in the snack itself--it would be more aptly named ChocoCrispyCrunch, in my opinion--Little Debbie had to add some star bursts to justify calling it Star Crunch. Which is cool with me.

Now the product:

The delicious center is chocolatey and gooey, true, but the true joy of eating a Star Crunch is in the anticipation. See it is imperative that one nibble off the outer coating of rice crispies--which are lightly coated in chocolate and really don't have much taste or texture and aren't very rewarding at all as far as snacks are concerned--before taking a full bite. Withholding that immediate sensory pleasure makes the experience that much more rewarding. Believe it.

In other news here's the tentative route for Road Trip USA, set to leave June 1:


View Larger Map

So here's your job, people. Give us places to visit in the following cities:

1. Pittsburgh
2. Columbus, OH
3. Cincinnati
4. Louisville
5. Bowling Green, KY
6. Nashville
7. Memphis (aside from the obvious)
8. Jackson, MS
9. Baton Rouge, LA
10. Houston

PS: ICBITIFA = I Can't Believe It This Is Fucking Awesome