Saturday Grab-Bag

This picture of me and Mitch has been on the fridge for a while but I thought it was worth sharing with the world. For reference, this is the morning after we got to New Orleans in 1999 (I think) for Mardi Gras. Look how tough we are, what with the cigarettes and white-dude gang signs!


Yes, those are the remnants of blond in my hair. That's what's called being with it.

I may or may not include my childhood dog in new tattoo. The whole inside of the arm is free, and lookit!


Mini Restaurant Review Time! Ray's Hell Burger (sister restaurant of Ray's the Steaks/the Classics) is right next to Pho 75, so it's taken us a while to have a burger instead of delicious soup. Today we did.
It comes with corn on the cob and watermelon, and Dominion's draft root beer is available in chilled mugs. Verdict: read the last sentence. Duh.

The Olympic opening ceremonies were last night, which resulted in a treasure trove of text messages. A couple good ones:

from Anne: look @ team usa's gear. they are so ready for yacht rock

another from Anne: i'm pretty sure craig sager's tailor makes bank outfitting olympians*

Craig Sager

from Joe: do you think bush is at the olympics in hopes of an assassination as a graceful way out of a failing presidency?

*Thing I learned from Craig Sager's Wikipedia page: he was waiting for Hank Aaron at home plate after his 715th home run. (36 second mark here)

An Open Letter to the Ford Motor Company

Dear Ford Motor Company,

Dude, do you use T9 when you're texting? I do. And lately it seems like the words it knows or doesn't know is getting weirder. Have you noticed this? Like even though the word "bourbon" is in probably 60% of my texts, it still doesn't know how to spell it; instead it gives me this, which has never even been a word.


WTF, you know? And it's not like it doesn't know any of the distilled spirits, which would at least make sense:


Then there's the words it knows that are barely ever used by anybody ever:


And then sometimes you want to write some words and it gives you other words to try and make you feel all guilty. Like when I tried to write "chalice":


I think T9 is trying some sort of social engineering, Ford Motor Company! What do you think? I mean look! I was just trying to type "duckpin"!


Anyways. What I was really writing about is that you own the Mercury Motors brand, right? That is hands down the coolest car name ever. It's the coolest element, it's a slow-working poison, it's an ancient god--what more could you ask for in a brand name?

What I want to say is that you're totally wasting Mercury and everything it could be. For starters, its cars shouldn't come in any colors other than silver. Second, the logo should be a dude throwing an arrow, or something. Anything is better than what you have. Third, make the cars awesome.

Sincerely,

DeffoTotes