Welcome to Saturday. Now: Time for You to be Chastised!

Have you seen Honky Tonk Freeway? No? Why not? What the hell is wrong with you? Were you born stupid, or did you choose to become such an idiot? I'm guessing it's the latter.

Don't worry, though. It's been on TMC a lot lately. A LOT. Quick summation: Mad Mad World (or for this generation, Rat Race) meets Smokey and the Bandit meets most any Jim Jarmusch movie. Oh--and throw in a healthy dose of Ishtar and Waterworld.

Look at all the people in it:


Plays an alcoholic, married to best-Hollywood-name-ever, Hume Cronyn:


Plus: The cop who wasn't Chris Noth from the first season of Law & Order; Daniel Stern, as a coke fiend who is "Going to the Super Bowl to sell some co-caine"; Beau Bridges; Howard Hesseman; Terri Garr (AKA Mrs. Dad); William Devane; Deborah Rush. In short, it's a veritable hey it's that guy movie classic.

Also: Beverly D'Angelo plays a nymphomaniac waitress who carries her mother's ashes with her everywhere she goes. This should be reason enough to watch it (next Thursday at 4:40pm).

This is reason enough to buy a new iPhone.

Friday Review: It's 7am and I Just Got Home From Seeing The Dark Knight.

Which unfortch means that I don't have a whole lot of energy for an in-depth review. So here's the quick one. First: picture of the Uptown at 3:00am. It is not on fire; it is only lit up.


Verdict:

If I were Bruce Wayne, I would likely move away from Gotham City. The Joker (and this has only a little bit to do with the sadness of Heath Ledger dying) is the baddest ass to come around in some time. The fucker is SCARY and AMAZING and, most surprisingly, believable and (somehow) nuanced.

NBC4 was waiting to interview people when we came out into daylight. I shied away because I couldn't think of anything to say that didn't have lots of expletives.

SCORE SCORE SCORE

Landlord just called, and on the recommendation of our spaz landlord and spaz boss, we are moving. Hells yes. Feel free to come over and relax on our front porch, which we will be having in two weeks. Adulthood here we are, &c.

When I got home after work the other night, this movie called "Let's Do Things" was on. That's the greatest name for a movie ever. Also, it was listed as "1931 (New)."


We went to the movies last night without any particular desire to see any particular movie, since it's what they call "Slim 'Pickins'" (ie Vantage Point) these days on the movie front. The only thing playing when we walked in was Horton Hears a Who, which neither of us had any particular desire to see, but decided to anyway.

Verdict: it was good. Especially this character, which is named Katie, and made me laugh out loud so hard that everybody in the theater looked at me and then laughed.


One of the problems with phlogging exclusively about oneself is that every year certain things happen, so there's naturally going to be some overlap. Remember last St. Patrick's Day? Sure you do!:


This year it wasn't quite so gross


but if you waited a couple hours and added a grown woman crying while trying to sneak gulps from her dude's Bud Light, you'd have the scene pretty well down.

BREAKING: Philip Seymour Hoffman Plays Conflicted Intellectual

And he does it well. The Savages is good; I recommend it.


In other news, Senior has been found out. She'd better watch herself.

BONUSBONUSBONUS Heck's Kitchen has taken my poorly thought-out idea and begun making lots of different products that people might actually like to buy. So what, you say? So I need better ideas, so I win. Please feel free to include them in the comments.

Oh, and our work holiday party is going to include a party bus and duckpin bowling (they have a snack bar!) in Baltimore. Feel free to hold your collective breaths.

Checking in with America

Because today was a day, we went to have Pho for breakfast/dinner. It was delicious. When we were done, a couple sat down across from us and proceeded to have what might have been the most important conversation in the history of the world.

Unfortch for me, I didn't bring my camera so I couldn't tape it surreptitiously. Lucky for me, Ana has a good memory and reminded me what they said so I could transcribe it and provide it for you lucky people.

Please: enjoy! Nothing is made up.