The Unfortunate Part of Being a Public Figure, ex. 1

Last night, while having a drink at a friends' bar, there was a particularly drunk young woman a few seats down was being hit on by a particularly gross dude, who had bought her a shot and invited her back to his hotel room, which she declined.

Eventually she had enough, and our friend told her as much. Even though she was fine with being cut off, dude wasn't happy about it (it was pretty obvious he was trying to her get even drunker in order to sleep with him).

"I've been to a lot of bars in a lot of places, and I've NEVER seen this happen," he says. "NOT COOL."

"There's a first time for everything," bartender replies.

Dude hands bartender his credit card slip.

"No offense, man, but I took back my tip. That is NOT COOL."

Dude goes to bathroom, woman leaves without him. Dude emerges from bathroom, runs out to try and catch her. Fails. All is right with the world.

Coworker remembers that dude said he was a reporter. Check slip/cross reference on Google:



Hey George Richards, beat reporter for Miami Herald: You Suck!

Work Story. Plus Housewares!

This is a little late but still a gem. On Friday, a customer hit all the bases:

1. Started yelling her order at me while I was not only making somebody else's drinks, but speaking with someone else at the opposite end of the bar.

2. String ordered (ie kept adding more drinks every time I came back).

3. After I lectured her on the rudeness of yelling her order, did so again three more times.

4. Told me that I'd get a good tip if I gave her my number.

The best part? Her friend closed the tab out when she wasn't around, and seemed unhappy with the total. So he tips a penny.


I pointed out to him that this was a bummer thing to do, and he began listing his reasons for the poor tip:

1. Poor service brings poor tip (even though he had never actually interacted with me before this)

2. My coworker had punched him in the face (not true and just weird)

3. My coworker was a dick (asked him to move)

4. I didn't include an itemized bill with the credit receipt.

At this point I gave him an itemized bill, which he didn't look at but rather balled up and threw at me before telling me to fuck off. I then escorted him out. His name is Brian Roach, btw. Feel free to not serve him if you have the chance.

Something awesome to counteract Mr. Roach: new fry pan to replace sad old one.

May 17=Special Tippers Holiday

Yesterday was graduation day, which one would think would be a time of joy and merriment and drinking and tipping appropriately. Guess what? One would be wrong.

Exhibit A: At first glace it looks like somebody left a $30 tip on $4. That would be outrageous! It's okay, though, because it was 30¢. How did he arrive at 30¢, I wonder?


That would be pretty good by itself, but not on this day. This day was special! Later on came a woman who, for her $30 tab, left me these two beauties:


In case you can't tell, they are two (expired!) vouchers for a free drink at the Clarendon Ballroom (a place I will likely never set foot in unless the overwhelming urge to see a cover band wins out). Top it all off: I have to get hired by Accenture first. Talk about adding insult to injury.

Tipping Habits of Famous or Rich People, Installment 1

Cleveland Cavalier Sideshow Bob-lookalike Anderson Varajao was at my bar last night. My coworker, who is from Cleveland, bought he and his friends the first round. Their second was $30. Varajao tipped $10.

Verdict: not as bad as other celebrities. Plus, he was nice.