Dinner

Pork tenderloin is my favorite meat.


(Add greens, grilled apples and bread. Frozen dough works well as a dinner roll.)

Dinner + Buy a Commemorative Shirt for Something that You May Want to Forget

New bread recipe is good, if a little time-consuming.




Pork remains delicious.


Mini pork tenderloin sandwich:


I really need to overcome my dependence on Sriracha. That or develop a Sriracha bread.

+++Shirt design is complete. Go here to buy (feel free to change the shirt style).

Filling in the Gaps

For some reason, I didn't post this picture of the ridiculous sirloin at Blue Duck Tavern last week. I'm pretty sure it's the best steak I've ever had.


Updates!

+Jenny appropriately eulogizes the month of January, which is better known as the Month Without Achewood.

+When I was a kid, I wanted a pair of cowboy boots and a pickup truck. The boots part has come back with a vengeance. So I'm counting the days until I can spend way too much money on these.

Time to Move on to No-Knead Charcuterie

I've become comfortable enough with the easy recipe so I think it's time to move on. Here's the half-loaf I made today with some mediocre salami:


Next step: get better salami. Or at least get Eric to make me some.

Cleveland is Moderately Exciting; Frizzesh Fizzootball Loses in Week 1

Here is the quick recap of Baby Baptism 2008: three adults on the altar taking pictures of baby; one adult in pew taking pictures of adults on altar.


But really, considering that this is the baby, can you really blame them? Come on.


Then there was a big table full of meat. It's like they knew we were coming.


Then to a place called the Treehouse, which has a big mural of the Guinness bird on the wall.



Fantasy Football got off with a bang, it seems, when my team (Frizzesh Fizzootball) finished tied for 9th in a league of 10 teams. Translation: not really in last. But it does require that some drastic measures be taken. Translation: look to see who is on team, make random decisions about who will be starting next week, possibly for to non-football related reasons.

Of course, losing does not keep one from sending a virtual can of smack to every other team in the league:

Xmas Miraxles

When booking flights, it always seems like the best idea to leave early and come back late, so as to maximize the amount of vacation time. In practice, though, it's probably the worst idea ever. Working all night before having to catch a 6am flight is brutal. Especially now that I'm old. The wrinkles on my forehead? Not even a month old.


Luckily, the hotel we checked into when I got to town was underwater. Granted, the dolphins were really small, but it's great for the complexion to sleep completely submerged.


Murals are really big in San Francisco. You can't see, but at the far left there is a depiction of Jerry Garcia walking into the ether. This place is on Haight Street. Self-consciousness apparently hasn't made its way over there yet.

I was going to concoct an entire narrative for the trip, including fake events and people, but I have to be at work in an hour so that idea will have to wait. In its place are real events and people like Ana and her little brother at the corner store that sells pre-packaged cocktail-making kits for those who need a little help:


Then there's her nephew, who likes to spin around and act like a Power Ranger. Here he is utilizing his patented stay-awake method:


Ana and I had a very special vacation staring contest, which I won.


Then she posed for possibly the best portrait ever taken:


Next are two montages. First, Ana with brother and sister doing some dancing and posing:


Next is Clarissa with Ana at dinner (for those in the Bay area the restaurant is Weird Fish on Mission. Delicious). They move alot when they talk.


I bought an animatronic frog for the nephew's Christmas present. The box included some amazing slogans:


Ana learned to shapeshift:

Then we ate steak:


There was this cat that hangs out at the corner store and looked at me funny, so I gave it the what-for:


So all in all it was a pretty good holiday, obvs.


BONUSBONUSBONUS

Teeners is back!


Also, what is wrong with celebrities and why can't they laugh like regular people? Is stuff really that funny to them?

Best Work Snack Ever

Before:

(two pork tenderloin medallions, cracked pepper, salt, basil, red pepper flakes, olive oil)

After:


Yums.

Photo Essay #12b: 72 Hours Cont.

Where were we? Oh, yes.

Las Vegas likes to give their hotel hallways an hallucinogenic quality.

Which is good, because they also put TVs in the BATHROOM MIRRORS so you can watch RACHEL RAY interview MONTEL WILLIAMS about his ALL-CONSUMING GENEROSITY and other good qualities, all while taking a shower. (!!)


Ah, the world-famous Flamin,O pool. What better time to put on your ski suit and catch some rays?


Next up: fancy dinner! Our friends who were supposed to get married didn't get married, so instead we had a group dinner. I figure it's an even trade. So we hop on over to Thomas Keller's Bouchon in the Venetian, which unlike the real Venice has free public bathrooms with conditioned air!:



Hmm... What to eat? Ah! Cured meats! Ah! A cured meat named baby Jesus! Sounds delicious! Two orders, please!


What's that, Abbe? You've decided to sneakily pay for the entire meal behind our backs, like some sort of generous traitor? Huh? Is that what you're going to do? HUH? IS IT?


Ah, Venice.


GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THERE ARE DISFIGURED OPERA SINGERS OUTSIDE


TBC again.

Photo Essay #4: Regarding Red Lobster™ and its Cheesy Drop Biscuits(™)

M's birthday was last Wednesday, and she naturally wanted to celebrate by joining friends and family at our neighborhood Red Lobster™. This is an entirely natural compulsion, I say. Red Lobster™ makes people feel good about themselves. Just look: when the day began, I was on my deathbed:


Then something reminded me of the fact that I was engaged to eat at Red Lobster™ that evening, and my body revived almost immediately.


I grabbed a big hunk of money ($83 is preferable--don't forget the BahamaMamas™ you'll be downing),


and hopped in the ol' minivan with the gang.


How exciting! There are MULTIPLE MENUS. Do you want to order from Red Lobster™'s 365-day menu? Go for it! Walt's Fried Shrimp™ come out right every time. Say hello! More friends are arriving!


Want Shrimp Scampi? It's gonna be delicious! Wanna Scampi something else? Just let your server know. They can Scampi ANYTHING. After all, it's LOBSTERFEST™! No, no, Joe! You don't eat the LOBSTERFEST™ menu! You eat the products described therein, like Ameripure™ Oysters. Silly, hungry vegans!


Yes, kind server! Thank you for asking! We will have two domestic beers. One from each competitor, please! No playing favorites here! We should be fine for the next 20 minutes. Ah, screw it. Don't worry about coming back!


OOH! They leave you reading material now! Equal™ is one clever brand, I've always said. Ban the Bland. GOLD! The wait is anything but bland!


Three baskets of Cheesy Garlic Drop Biscuits (you should add a ™ to that, Red Lobster™! Mark my words!) and one hour later, hoo boy, I'm ready for some Steak n' Shrimp™! Hits the spot, thanks!


So does that LobsterTail™!


Hoo! Look at that belly!


Aw. They brought a complimentary piece of Chocolate Wave Cake™! LET'S DEVOUR IT.


That's one happy birthday girl!