Narratives are Overrated

The trip Atlanta was good, and productive, and my mom's spine is safely realigned with metal rods all up on it. That said, I don't have many great pictures. What I do have is this picture of a survey box at the Atlanta airport, which somebody stuffed with an empty travel-size tube of toothpaste.


Also: People of Atlanta! You have this place called Cabbagetown, which is like Richmond if it was dirtier and more southern and smaller and with fewer hardcore bands. Also you have the Cabbagetown Market, which is the type of place that every neighborhood in the world should have. It should be mandated. They have bottled Mexican non-HFCS Coke.


My tour of the world's grossest bar bathrooms continues. Pictured: Clermont Lounge. If you have the temperament for it, it's one of the most interesting and unique places I've ever been to, in Atlanta or otherwise. If not, don't worry about it.


Plus! Customer leaves barely legible note on credit card slip! In this case, girl's dude spilled a drink on her, but she wasn't really coherent enough to recognize this fact, so she decided that I had done it.


Transcript: Next time don't spill shit on me, bitch. Or the middle English version: Next time--don't spill sht onne bitch. And yet: still a 12% tip! She must not've really been mad.

Road Trip USA Redux: Picturetimez

Look! It's two dudes with beards.


And a dog. The dog was bummed because he had to sit in the back.


People have lots of opinions about West Virginia. Two of them are right. 1) It is beautiful


And 2) terrifying. This is an abandoned gas station with an abandoned semi on blocks. If we had seen this at night I would likely have been murdered.


Before going to the Tri-State Dog Track and Slot Emporium, we had Arby's.


In Kentucky, the sandwich shop was selling Pickle Pops, with aren't pops at all but rather plastic ramekins filled with frozen pickle juice. We bought two and they were not refreshing.


You know what is refreshing? Buying 9 bottles of bourbon.


And then the proprietor gives you two pints of your favorite "for the road." Now that's a responsible liquor purveyor!


Soon after that we see Dinosaur World, which is impossible to not stop at.


Next door to Dinosaur World, of course, is a fireworks store where Teebz buys lots of illegal mortars and the like.

There are lots of videos of us shooting them off, but I'll just give you the one for now. (Hint: If you don't have the sound on it's going to be even more boring than it is already.)

Then we walked down the road acting all innocent and around the corner we find this big jail which explains why there were cops everywhere.


The next day we went to Graceland. I have sworn to recreate the TV room when I get the money. No fake. The bar is yellow vinyl.


Then in a Mississippi rest stop: the first of two great bathroom photos:


The cup says "SOAP please do not dump out the dispenser is broke"

New Orleans on a random Tuesday night: hot as hell and people trying to act like it's Mardi Gras. Bummer.

Recommendation: find 24-hour bar playing Death Wish 3. Take a picture of its bathroom.



In Austin, it was time for Roadtoo. Specifically, bald eagle carrying booze and fireworks.



After staying in Motel 6es for four nights, we noticed that the skier/boxer on the comforter has an arm that looks suspiciously like a red rocket. I'm guessing that life as a designer for Motel 6 bedspreads yields little excitement.