We had sunglasses.
Who, me? Yes, both of us.
Look! Two dudes with beards. Shocker.
Dudes with beards sometimes chat with each other.
That lady with Hamouda reappeared.
If I were an ad executive looking for someone to advertise something related to kicking, I would hire Patrick. 
Poses.
Best tattoo ever.
Let's start this off right, Vegas-style, with a picture of a bakery in the airport.
What is more Vegas than Breadz?
Next is the second picture of a 24-hour bar that I've taken in the past month. Do you know what that means? Good month.
Next would be a couple dozen pictures of the inside of the casino we stayed at, including but not limited to the Dealertainers® (celebrity look-alikes who perform and also deal blackjack), but it's Vegas and they don't like cameras. So pictures of novelty drinks must suffice.
How this for suffice? 40 ounces of daiquiri in a plastic guitar. In the mall bathroom, natch.
Then disperse with the novelty drinks for the real drinks. Why? Cuz we're getting ready to go to the club, that's why.
(Aside: when you find a Sedaris book in the hotel bathroom, you know your friend is white.)
Hey, are you guys going to the club? Yes? Thought so.
What are you dudes doing? Oh.
What happens twelve hours later? Your body reminds you that you are a jackass.
But whatever there is still time to go to Fremont Street and eat fried Oreos.
In Fremont Street, you may remember, there is an experience that people take pictures of for some reason.
Other people buy Oakland Raider earrings and sparkly hats.
Oh, and some of the hats have lights in them.
Like this one the Chad is wearing. It is a USA hat.
Finally, we went to the El Cortez, which is noteworthy because it rules.
Then we came home to find that Junes had stocked our joint with Canadian chocolates
and New Glarus. Both of which are delicious.
Then we slept for 17 hours.
At RockHouse®, the Rock-themed/Beer Pong fake club attached to our hotel, Hamouda wore a singlet/jumper/onesie and drank a blue daiquiri. What did this result in?
You guessed correctly. It resulted in being accosted by a blacked-out, middle-aged tourist.
The dude on the left is turning 30 so we're going to Vegas. They are wearing matching Mickey Mouse shirts. Anyhoos, Vegas rules, remember?
Then after dinner it's time to pay respects to venerable Vegas institution (HA HA THAT'S AN OXYMORON ISN'T IT HAHAHA) the Frontier, which is going to be blown up by Israelis very soon. The Frontier really is a great old place, though, full of old slot machines and Casino workers like ones in 80s movies.
Naturally, we sat down to play the horses. The mechanical horses, that is. The chances of winning are the same, but you don't have to worry about the ethical problems associated with real horse racing, because these horses are pieces of plastic. Really, I'm just assuming that there are ethical problems associated with real horse racing because I couldn't really say what they are.
Not sure if Derby is really the name or not, because the machine was being all snarky about it.
Then at 2am you all decide that it's a good idea to learn how to play craps. Why not? We're in Vegas! What happens here is learned for life! Then five hours pass and Steve has lots of money that he didn't have before, so it's time to take a shot of tequila.
Son of gun! There are different times of day outside!
I can't wait to be at work in 3 hours!
Where were we? Oh, yes.
Las Vegas likes to give their hotel hallways an hallucinogenic quality.
Which is good, because they also put TVs in the BATHROOM MIRRORS so you can watch RACHEL RAY interview MONTEL WILLIAMS about his ALL-CONSUMING GENEROSITY and other good qualities, all while taking a shower. (!!)
Ah, the world-famous Flamin,O pool. What better time to put on your ski suit and catch some rays?
Next up: fancy dinner! Our friends who were supposed to get married didn't get married, so instead we had a group dinner. I figure it's an even trade. So we hop on over to Thomas Keller's Bouchon in the Venetian, which unlike the real Venice has free public bathrooms with conditioned air!:
Hmm... What to eat? Ah! Cured meats! Ah! A cured meat named baby Jesus! Sounds delicious! Two orders, please!
What's that, Abbe? You've decided to sneakily pay for the entire meal behind our backs, like some sort of generous traitor? Huh? Is that what you're going to do? HUH? IS IT?
Ah, Venice.
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THERE ARE DISFIGURED OPERA SINGERS OUTSIDE
TBC again.
Itinerary:
5:00am Get off work
5:00am Get in cab
6:30am Get on plane: What do you do on your 72 hour jaunt to Vegas/LA? You upgrade, y'all. Fine imitation leather. Free 8am cocktails. SEMI-PRIVATE BATHROOM.
11:00am Arrive in Vegas
11:30am Get in car, stop for refreshments: This is what America is about. German-engineered droptops, Mexican-bottled soda pop.
While we're here, let's gamble that dollar that Joe asked us to gamble. This machine will pay him $10,000, it seems:
Nope, lost.
5:00pm Arrive in LA. Drive to what they call "The Valley" to meet Martina at her cousin's house. You may remember it from Clueless, when Cher laments having to drive there. Everyone in the valley must have a jacuzzi, just like this one:
X:00a/pm: Eat In-N-Out Burger.
7:00pm: Arrive in North Hollywood at Martina's apartment. She lives in Melrose Place.
9:00pm: Convene first-ever meeting of Beta Happa Westilon, the Big Hunt West Coast Alumni Association.
Party.
Mon, 11:00am: Visit Hollywood Boulevard to pay tribute to your (and presumably everyone's) inspiration: the incomparable star of Bedknobs and Broomsticks, Ms. Angela Lansbury.
6:00pm: Get back in car to make way back to Vegas.
11:00pm: Arrive in Vegas, Check in at hotel. Those in the know call it the "Flamin, O."
TBC, people.
