Normal, Non-Jeff G-Related Post

Apologies if you're not interested in fake-internet non-celebrity stalking. Here's some normal content:

First, I went to the Natinals game last week, which was fun and all but really the Abe Lincoln costume is wayyyy more terrifying than it needs to be. This thing definitely set at least three kids into crying fits, and unsettled me something fierce.


Second, we went to the soft opening of the unfortunately-named H St. Country Club on Saturday. Here's a wide shot of the mini-golf course (Ana is on the path to give some perspective):


The design is pretty awesome, really, even though I don't think the mini-golf is going to be particularly challenging. Here's The Awakening of Marion Barry:


Here's my favorite, the Zombie Presidents hole (the one on the right is Martin Van Buren, who was originally supposed to be Howard Taft, an idea that was axed by the overlord for whatever reason):


And a mixing-bowlish loop:


All in all, the place is well designed. I can't imagine making a trip of it, though. Get ready for large parties of people otherwise terrified of NE to be inhabiting HSCC.

Finally: roses again!

Baseball Amid the End of the World

DC's new baseball stadium, which cost $4.6 billion, has been open for a couple weeks now so we decided to take in a game this afternoon. The weather has been beautiful, but it's April so that couldn't last:

On the whole, the new stadium is fine. Only problems: it took longer to get a hot dog than to actually travel to the stadium (20 minutes vs. 15), and the stadium is basically a concrete-and-steel copy of Turner Field, only without the charm.


The fact that none of the awesome options for interesting design were taken advantage of (no miniature white house for the Presidents to emerge from for their race? No miniature Ford's Theater for Lincoln to retire to at the end of the game?) is kind of disappointing.

And look! Teddy cheats and still loses! What a maroon!

On the positive side, I can't wait to find out who the stadium sponsor is going to be.

Anyway, the apocalypse wasn't sitting well with Ana, who was being a total downer:


So she spilled her beer on this druid that was sitting in front of us who probably then cursed our progeny for generations to come:


Then I took a quick PR shot and we got the hell out.


Verdict: stadium sucks when it's cold, add more hot dog vendors.


I saw this credit card slip at the end of the night last night, and initially thought it said "UR FAT" and got really mad.


Teebz and a couple of his coworkers got tattoos of a deer with a beard wearing a plaid shirt. One of the best brotoos ever.

Grandma, Baseball, &c.

This weekend we went to Atlanta to visit my Grandma, who rules. She rules so much that I trimmed my beard, because being presentable to Grandma is important.


I also changed my shirt, because I proselytize for good comics:


Then I got on the plane.


Then I rented a car from a business named "E-Z Car Rental". The name should be "Gross Sad Car Rental".


Then we went to Ria's Bluebird Cafe where Ana found out that she is totally their type:


Then, duh, we went to the ballgame. Stupid Atlanta doesn't have branded beer bottles yet.

There was this girl there


Ana wanted to fight the little girl.


Then we went to dinner with my Grandma.


Later, we danced a little bit.


Also, we went to the best bar in Atlanta.


And finally we got back on the plane.


BONUS!!! CAT ACTING LIKE DOG!!! CLICK TO ENLARGE!!!

I got to wear my cap to the ballgame

Last night was July 3rd, which in DC might as well be New Years' Eve if you're in the bar industry. So when Josh said he had tickets for the July 4th Cubs-Nats game, it seemed like a really good idea until I got home at 7 this morning. But whatever. I got a new hat, and I got to wear it.


Ana is jealous of my hat, obvs.


Interesting tidbit: in DC, every seat at the stadium is owned by some lobbying group or other. Josh got ours from Budweiser. They didn't ask for anything in return, either! Just enjoy the game, they said!


The Nationals don't have any real traditions, so they make them up. Remember? The dumbest one is called the "Waving of the Caps," wherein the PA announcer asks everybody to wave their caps. That's it.


The best part about riding your bike to the stadium, aside from feeling morally superior to everybody else, is getting to hop on and roll past thousands of people idling in their cars or waiting in line for the Metro. Not everybody understands that, though. As Ana put it, when you unlock your bike at the stadium, people look at you like you're unlocking a spaceship.

Jodie Foster may ignore me for the rest of my life, but I have made her one of the most famous actresses in the world. Oh, and this is a great game!

Finally!

Photo Essay #11: Good Sunday Guidelines

Step 1: Be awoken with offer of free tickets to ballgame.

Step 2: Agree to accept tickets. Bike to ballgame. Biking to the ballgame makes one feel superior to the chumps driving or metroing. Exercise and it's faster.

Step 3: Roll in during the 4th inning.


Step 4: Snacks. Washing shorts before taking the picture would be preferable, or maybe wearing clothing that hasn't been worn to work for last two weeks.

Step 5: Ooh! The Cracker Jack Prize!

Step 6: Beware, because the Cracker Jack prizes suck now.

Step 7: Look! It's DC's version of Milwaukee's sausage race, only with dead presidents! Things we learn: Teddy Roosevelt is a lout, a drunkard, and a skirt-chaser. George Washington pulls it out in the end. Abe Lincoln survives.


Step 8: Woot! Home team rallies to win. Kid in front of us cheers in the wrong direction, solemnly.


Step 9: What to do now? Philadelphia Water Ice, that's what. One mango, one pineapple, please.


Step 10: Mmm.


Step 11: Barbecue. Natch.


Step 12: Hot dog + ketchup + mustard + EXTREME GOLDFISH.


Step 13: Good day.