Las Vegas: Basically Just Novelty Drinks

Let's start this off right, Vegas-style, with a picture of a bakery in the airport.


What is more Vegas than Breadz?

Next is the second picture of a 24-hour bar that I've taken in the past month. Do you know what that means? Good month.


Next would be a couple dozen pictures of the inside of the casino we stayed at, including but not limited to the Dealertainers® (celebrity look-alikes who perform and also deal blackjack), but it's Vegas and they don't like cameras. So pictures of novelty drinks must suffice.

How this for suffice? 40 ounces of daiquiri in a plastic guitar. In the mall bathroom, natch.


Then disperse with the novelty drinks for the real drinks. Why? Cuz we're getting ready to go to the club, that's why.


(Aside: when you find a Sedaris book in the hotel bathroom, you know your friend is white.)


Hey, are you guys going to the club? Yes? Thought so.


What are you dudes doing? Oh.


What happens twelve hours later? Your body reminds you that you are a jackass.


But whatever there is still time to go to Fremont Street and eat fried Oreos.


In Fremont Street, you may remember, there is an experience that people take pictures of for some reason.


Other people buy Oakland Raider earrings and sparkly hats.


Oh, and some of the hats have lights in them.

Like this one the Chad is wearing. It is a USA hat.


Finally, we went to the El Cortez, which is noteworthy because it rules.


Then we came home to find that Junes had stocked our joint with Canadian chocolates


and New Glarus. Both of which are delicious.


Then we slept for 17 hours.

At RockHouse®, the Rock-themed/Beer Pong fake club attached to our hotel, Hamouda wore a singlet/jumper/onesie and drank a blue daiquiri. What did this result in?

You guessed correctly. It resulted in being accosted by a blacked-out, middle-aged tourist.

I got to wear my cap to the ballgame

Last night was July 3rd, which in DC might as well be New Years' Eve if you're in the bar industry. So when Josh said he had tickets for the July 4th Cubs-Nats game, it seemed like a really good idea until I got home at 7 this morning. But whatever. I got a new hat, and I got to wear it.


Ana is jealous of my hat, obvs.


Interesting tidbit: in DC, every seat at the stadium is owned by some lobbying group or other. Josh got ours from Budweiser. They didn't ask for anything in return, either! Just enjoy the game, they said!


The Nationals don't have any real traditions, so they make them up. Remember? The dumbest one is called the "Waving of the Caps," wherein the PA announcer asks everybody to wave their caps. That's it.


The best part about riding your bike to the stadium, aside from feeling morally superior to everybody else, is getting to hop on and roll past thousands of people idling in their cars or waiting in line for the Metro. Not everybody understands that, though. As Ana put it, when you unlock your bike at the stadium, people look at you like you're unlocking a spaceship.