Election Day Pic Dump

Sorry I've been away for a while. I've been busy doing nothing.

During that time, things have happened.

A) My theory about stretching (that it sucks and is stupid, despite my half-hearted attempts) was proven correct. I first came up with this theory when Terry Pendleton joined the Braves in the 90s, bringing with him a super-fangled stretching program. Fact: this program ensured that he pulled a muscle 3 out of ever 7 times he broke into a jog.



B) I provisionally voted. Provisionally because DC doesn't have record of me being registered, even though I was summoned for jury duty like four years ago. Whatevs. At worst, I don't get to be one of the 95% this year.


C) Chick-fil-A still rulz.


D) Tried new/old beer (re-brewing of old beer labels--like shoes--is only going to increase in frequency, I predict) at Red Derby. Verdict: meh. Too sweet. But great packaging, Reading!


E) When one cannot find amazing Banh Mi (which one cannot in DC), what does one do? Get somebody to make it for you, I say.



F) Finally, Frizzesh Fizzootball is on FIRE. Who knew that such little care or concern could help me score 103 points (100 points in anything is good)?! Record now stands at 5-4.

DeffoTotes Presents: The Road to Stretchtown USA

I've never been what one would call "limber." In high school, I decided that stretching was for losers (which may still be the case) after Terry Pendleton, the Atlanta Braves' portly third baseman and champion of all things stretchy, seemed to pull a muscle every time he moved.

As the years have passed, though, I've noticed something interesting: my hamstrings have become less muscle-y and more akin to a mineral deposit. I realized that if it keeps up at this pace I'm in for a difficult time in the next thirty years:


As you can see, by 2028, I'll only have two options: stand or lay down. By 2038, I'll be needing some sort of inverted Craftmatic bed.

So in my never-ending quest to provide this blog with boring updates, I'll be tracking the progress of my attempt to touch my toes for the first time since 1996. STAY TUNED.