Florida: Pretty Much Just For Bragging and Tacos

So Florida was okay.

As I get older, I realize the great joy one can derive from making one's peers feel worse about having to go about their day-to-day lives while you go on vacation. Pictures like this make that so much easier.

But enough of that. We visited Ana's sister in Tampa, where we got to hang out with nephew Mikey

We went to the local science museum, which basically consisted of gross-out interactive exhibits. In short, awesome. Look at arm hair when magnified! Gross!

Look at what I'll look like at 70!

Look at Ana's height! Can't fake that! It's digital!

Finally, we met up with Jenny at a taco place. Here she is after obviously saying something hurtful.

In fact, Jenny's chastisement for my lack of posting lately is pretty much the only reason I posted this today. One day I'll get the stupid iMac fixed so I don't have to use this tiny computer with its terrible graphics program. You'll see.

Ocean City USA

It's hard to have a bad trip to the beach, it turns out. Even with no sun, and when somebody's car breaks down on the way, the ish still rulez.

The ruling, it turns out, has much to do with being an adult and getting to do whatever you want.


Like, say, eating a snow cone and a caramel apple AT THE SAME TIME.


Or spending $20 on carnival games in exchange for a toy truck and three Dum-Dums.


Like this kid, who was enraptured by the claw.


Really, the entire point of going to the beach is to go to the bars. Or, in the case of Ocean City, the bar. The Bearded Clam, that is. The greatest bar in the world. Why, you ask? Because when you get up from your seats at the nearly-empty bar, they put a reserved sign. Cuz they know you're coming back.


And because they have all sorts of quasi-vintage beer paraphernalia, like this Bud sign which seems to have something grammatically wrong with it. Either way, though, it's still hard to argue with being Uniform and Distinctive at the same time. Just like America!




We stayed at Boss Boss's condo, which was likely built by Khrushchev, and which features a) the least-helpful exit diagram ever,


and b) the best beach-themed lamp ever.



Also, Ana was there!


Bad news.

OC Teaser

Back from the beach, which means I'm sweaty, tired, and have to be at work soon. So before the full post, here's a couple tidbits to tide you over.

Cookout, Darkest Hour, Ocean City Reduxed

In this omnibus edition of DeffoTotes!, you will find:

1) That sailor hats make people look either awesome or scary, depending on the situation;
2) Things are not always as they seem;
3) Old people don't always act old; and
4) The beach escaped certain death.

So let's get started! On Sunday we had a barbecue before the Darkest Hour concert. T-Bone (pictured) read somewhere that rock stars wear sailor hats, so he wore his to fit in. It totally worked:


We have started a new tradition at our barbecues, wherein vegetarians eat meat. It's amazing! Look!


Darkest Hour rulz, people.


Thing learned: kids do this thing now where they jump off the stage INTO THE CROWD, which catches them.


Later on, we learn how menacing sailors can be! The menacingness is made less so by the creepy hovering dude in the background, but it's menacing nonetheless.


Then we go back to Ocean City, where we took our chances a few months ago and got burned. NEVER AGAIN.


We stayed with Chaz, our friend/manchild who is turning into a beach bum.


Funcade Casino: you were on notice, and you got lucky.



Shenanigans: Ditto.


Shirt with half-naked lady posing alongside wolf: no problem.


Chaz making straw-sword to fight with 8-year-old at the next table while at dinner: good idea.


Heading to the bar after taking photobooth pictures: the best part of the beach.