Tuesday, July 29, 2008

OC Teaser

Back from the beach, which means I'm sweaty, tired, and have to be at work soon. So before the full post, here's a couple tidbits to tide you over.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

New Bike Times USA: Adios to Technology

I walked into the bike shop today thinking about ordering this bike (since nobody ever carries my size), and what was it that you knew, but there it was, in my size. So I bought it.

The good thing is that I got to take it for a test ride without feeling guilty if I didn't like it. But I did like it. Who knew that ditching a freewheel makes riding uphill that much easier?

Monday, July 21, 2008

Coming Soon: Pegacorn Punk

I talked about doing this a long time ago and now it's finally gonna happen.

The lightning bolts from the eyes are a maybe at this point. It's mostly up to this dude.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Welcome to Saturday. Now: Time for You to be Chastised!

Have you seen Honky Tonk Freeway? No? Why not? What the hell is wrong with you? Were you born stupid, or did you choose to become such an idiot? I'm guessing it's the latter.

Don't worry, though. It's been on TMC a lot lately. A LOT. Quick summation: Mad Mad World (or for this generation, Rat Race) meets Smokey and the Bandit meets most any Jim Jarmusch movie. Oh--and throw in a healthy dose of Ishtar and Waterworld.

Look at all the people in it:

Plays an alcoholic, married to best-Hollywood-name-ever, Hume Cronyn:

Plus: The cop who wasn't Chris Noth from the first season of Law & Order; Daniel Stern, as a coke fiend who is "Going to the Super Bowl to sell some co-caine"; Beau Bridges; Howard Hesseman; Terri Garr (AKA Mrs. Dad); William Devane; Deborah Rush. In short, it's a veritable hey it's that guy movie classic.

Also: Beverly D'Angelo plays a nymphomaniac waitress who carries her mother's ashes with her everywhere she goes. This should be reason enough to watch it (next Thursday at 4:40pm).

This is reason enough to buy a new iPhone.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Friday Review: It's 7am and I Just Got Home From Seeing The Dark Knight.

Which unfortch means that I don't have a whole lot of energy for an in-depth review. So here's the quick one. First: picture of the Uptown at 3:00am. It is not on fire; it is only lit up.


If I were Bruce Wayne, I would likely move away from Gotham City. The Joker (and this has only a little bit to do with the sadness of Heath Ledger dying) is the baddest ass to come around in some time. The fucker is SCARY and AMAZING and, most surprisingly, believable and (somehow) nuanced.

NBC4 was waiting to interview people when we came out into daylight. I shied away because I couldn't think of anything to say that didn't have lots of expletives.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Friday Found Things (Learn Something You Didn't Know About Comic Sans Edition)

Pep Pep found this particular gem while playing Trivial Pursuit the other day:

I love old Trivial Pursuit.

Even better is this flyer I found in Kinkos yesterday.

Who knew that a person in the market for a sex slave would also be predisposed to Comic Sans? I would've bet $5 otherwise.

Anyways. Email me for Q's number.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Nike=Liars. Does Nobody See This?

Anybody who really cares about Back to the Future--I mean really, really cares--wants a pair of the Nikes that Marty wears in 2015. People have been asking Nike to make replicas for years, to no avail.

Until now, right? Nike is doing a big Kobe promotion where he is in the Delorean and wears the shoes. They only made a few pairs, and they're going for $2000 on eBay. Which, if they were good replicas, like these, I think is worth it:

But they aren't. They don't even look like the ones from the movie--no super-high tops, no light-up soles, no auto-laces--even the coloring is all wrong. Look at this crap.

Grocery Shopping + I Am Not a Botanist

Today our refrigerator got fixed. It hasn't worked since early June sometime, but we've been out of town enough that it didn't really matter. This week, however, it began to matter when I started eating three-week old stale oatmeal cookies because the alternative was baking soda. Check out this sweet before and after:

In April, I was sure we had a Cherry Blossom tree in the front yard. Then a woman woke me up at 9:17am (the equivalent of 4am for norms) last week to ask if she could have some of our peaches. I said yes without really realizing that this meant the tree is a peach tree. Then I saw a squirrel making off with one yesterday, which made me think I should grab one before they're gone.

I'll let you know if they're any good in about three weeks when it's ripe.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

MurphDay 2008 + Hot New Cocktailz

Today is MurphDay, and yesterday was MurphDay Eve. Murph got a lot of cheese.


TBz was there:

In other news, while having game night at some toddlers' house the other night we invented a new cocktail. It is delicious, it tastes like bubble gum, and it should always be enjoyed in a martini glass on the rocks.

[ 2oz Stoli Raspberry Vodka
3/4oz Malibu Coconut Rum
two dashes Agistora Angostura bitters]

Friday, July 4, 2008

Friday Thing Facts: Correct Predictions + People With Awesome Names Aren't Always Awesome

Happy Fourth of July, people. Enjoy your outdoor festivities and think of me when you roll into the bar after polishing off the first case of BL Lime. I will be the one nurturing your heat stroke and divining whether or not you are going to pass out immediately or just after we close.

In other news, I was right, and a lefty will be president again. Look at what the last eight years with a righty has given us! (Hint: not just foreclosures.)

In other news, Jesse Helms died. Awesome name; not-so-awesome dude.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Vegas Extras: Surprising Numbers of Bearded Dude Pics Plus +++

We had sunglasses.

Who, me? Yes, both of us.

Look! Two dudes with beards. Shocker.

Dudes with beards sometimes chat with each other.

That lady with Hamouda reappeared.

If I were an ad executive looking for someone to advertise something related to kicking, I would hire Patrick.


Best tattoo ever.