I can't believe that I was so busy making fun of Goldie Hawn last night that I missed the 2nd Anniversary of keeping an web diary (this). Oh wait, of course I can believe it! Nice pecs, GH!
Of course, two years ago I envisioned a Jackie Harvey-esque version of things, which quickly devolved into mostly putting up pictures of myself and cats. And now I'm a millionaire!
I will bet that you didn't know that I was a member of a top secret organization WHEN I WAS NINE. Lookit.
I wonder: was I in two clubs named Cobras? Or were the NGA Cobras (No Girls Allowed, natch) different from the regular Cobras, in which girls were allowed? Also, which club gave me the rank of "warrior?" I bet it was "Asp." Only a club cool enough to remain singular would have warriors.
Bonus club information: my sister had a top secret Friendship Pin club. In which two people made friendship pins and sold them. Secretly.
Please notice that this top-secret enterprise was linked to the Detective Agency of Las Vegas in the USA.
In no order. 20 songs of about 100.
On this day one year ago, we experienced the DC judicial system from within, which somehow prompted me to begin phlogging. A year later, and how far we've come! I've phlogged about things 147 times. That's once every two and a half days!
Mostly it has had to do with cats, but also other things sometimes.
What do I have for you lo on this wondrous phlogiversary? A quick look into the nefarious innerworkings of corporate America!
See, a couple weeks ago I needed a suit, so I went to Bloomingdale's. Natch. They had a sale. Bernard (my fashion consultant) hooked it up
(Ana is her own fashion consultant) and even persuaded me to open up a Bloomingdale's account.
Not only an insider, people. PREMIER INSIDER. I saved $47.
I'm pretty sure the only other store credit card I've ever had was for Structure, which I opened with the purchase of a pair of cargo pants and never paid.
But anyway. I received my card in the mail last week, but it wasn't accompanied by a bill or a billing address, or my balance. So I went online to pay it off today (I'm pretty sure the APR is somewhere around 47%), and after a thorough search of "Bloomies" (premier insider jargon) online, I realized that it is impossible to pay one's Bloomingdale card balance on the internet.
I then called customer service, which told me that I could pay my balance at any Bloomingdale's store. That seemed like a hassle, so I asked if I could pay over the phone. Sure, they said, but it's going to require a $10 processing fee. Those damned corporations! Geniuses! I paid the $10.
Thus concludes my consumer lesson for 2008.
BONUSBONUSBONUS I forgot to include a picture of Ana's secret santa gift from Abe a couple weeks ago, so here it is: The Best Present Ever:
Now, I know you can't read it, so here's the transcription:
ANYONE FUCKS WITH ANA
GETS HACKED UP AND SEALED
IN A 55 GALLON DRUM
I particularly like the specific nature of the threat.
Remember when we were trying to find out where Senior works during the day? Well, we found out really quickly. But since the daytime is kind of a bummer, it took a while to get up the energy to see her. I had to get up before noon today, so I figured it might as well be today.
She works at a pretty awesome piece of depressing business-district DC, covered in beer paraphernalia and peppered with daytime office drunks. In short, awesome. And like the rest of the world, it's hard to take a picture of her there:
Hint: if you add a Michelob Light and a copy of USA Today, you've got a little slice of heaven.
BONUSBONUSBONUS The one-year DeffoVersary is Friday. There's going to be some awesome stuff, provided I think of awesome stuff. How about some ideas?
In the meantime, look at this great picture of the Awakening sculpture being moved to PG County:
