METAL

Honestly, when you're a kid, what is the most awesome thing ever? Limousines. And possibly Slayer. We just decided to combine the two, that's all.



THE CEILING WAS MIRRORED


THERE WERE LITTLE PLASTIC STRANDS WITH LIGHTS ON THE END OF THEM


This is how McGill figures one drinks Champagne while riding a limo to a metal concert.


Murph hears metal, limo-surfs, accidentally stops the CD.

STRETCHCURSION

OMG, look who's here! It's Teebz.

Here it appears that Pierce and I are judging Teebz' shotgunning abilities. Pierce: upper half. Me: lower half.

We do not know this guy, but he's wearing a shirt that looks like Teebz.


If I had seen my wrist when I was 15, I wouldn't have believed it. VIP for Slayer?!? As an aside, no advantage was taken of the VIP status, unfortunately. No tour buses, no ladies. Sigh.


Stage on fire. Lower left: dude with wicked farmer tan/tribal.


The traditional greeting at a Slayer concert.

Old people.

Economics +++

Obama, God bless him, thinks that people are going to take manual labor jobs in order to make ends meet. If he were to, I don't know, come up with a New New Deal where it included sitting at a desk with a nice computer and internet connection and enough work to keep one busy for at least 15 minutes a week, I think people would jump at it. Building roads? Fat chance.

Best way to fix the economy? Inventions. People need to invent more things. Did Edison make his fortune replacing energy-sucking light bulbs? NO. He invented them, and waited for other people to do the replacing. Because he was an American, and that's what Americans do.

I'll do my part to help. Listen up, snack makers: SRIRACHA-INFUSED CHEEZ-ITS.

• Wow! America has a conscience. Granted, it's not a fully-formed conscience (manslaughter?), but it's a conscience nonetheless.
• Wowee! Frenchies hate America AND beer.
  
• I am always confused about holiday tipping, because it wasn't normal when I was a kid. Out of this list, the only one that applies to me is the letter carrier, but since our letter carrier is pretty terrible (I'm guessing 75%-25% success rate) and the UPS guy offered to help carry my new TV up the stairs, I tipped him instead. Also, I tipped the lady at the Subway.
  
• HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Coldplay had to steal in order to write the turd that became "Viva la Vida?" HAHAHAHAHAHA from Joe Satriani
• Jenny's take on an annoying trait of people who live in or around national parks.
  

Pandering

Chad America, who I am pretty sure is this phlog's #1 fan (prove me wrong), noted last night that he hasn't seen his face on it in like two weeks. Also, he told me that his new house adjoins a high school, and we decided that we should put on sweatpants, sunglasses, overcoats and fedoras and go watch gym class together.


Also somebody said we should start a ZZ Top cover band. Possible names:

1. We Have Legs
2. TT Zop
3. Sharp-Fingernailed Man
4. Cheap Sunglasses, as Well as Cheap Accessories of All Sorts

Run for Cover here we come.

OMG OMG OMG OMG

BIG BUCK HUNT ROAD TRIP USA

So Teebz got the ol' insurance settlement, which means that I'm likely gonna schlep him across North America in the near future. We've decided that the route we're going to take is entirely dependent on where we can find Big Buck Hunter Pro^© games.

Git m'gun, maw!

BONUS Apparently FHM has done a lot of the work for us, with their Big Buck Hunter map mashup. Thanks, FHM!