Thursday, May 31, 2007

A Taste to Tide You Over

I am very tired right now. Very, very tired. Which means that downloading pictures onto the compruder was as challenging a feat as I can undertake right now, and it's gonna be a minute before the Las Vegas-LA photo blog/opus will appear. But I'll give you a little something for the meantime:

Ooh! Ooh! And this!:

I don't know about you, but I can't wait until the Akon-Roxette collabo.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

There Are Many Awesome Things About Whole Foods,

including a variety of organic products, ethical food choices, and so on. Socks with slogans that make me want to punch anyone who would purchase, let alone not vomit at the sight of them? Not so much.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Preview of Coming Attractions

So we're leaving for Vegas on Sunday morning, a trip which will include driving to LA for the day in a rented convertible. Be expecting a photo essay with some of the following:

Here I am with the Vegas sign that you only see if you are in the movies.


I will likely also become a gold-record winning Elvis impersonator.

Achewood's Archetypal Bartender

The archetypal bartender uses big words and cares about the patron's life. This is where the archetypal bartender and I diverge.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

In the Mail

Found these "computer socks" online today. And although they seem to be more like "old cellphone/voltage meter socks," I still bought them. More people should make things with these graphics.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Photo Essay #11: Good Sunday Guidelines

Step 1: Be awoken with offer of free tickets to ballgame.

Step 2: Agree to accept tickets. Bike to ballgame. Biking to the ballgame makes one feel superior to the chumps driving or metroing. Exercise and it's faster.

Step 3: Roll in during the 4th inning.

Step 4: Snacks. Washing shorts before taking the picture would be preferable, or maybe wearing clothing that hasn't been worn to work for last two weeks.

Step 5: Ooh! The Cracker Jack Prize!

Step 6: Beware, because the Cracker Jack prizes suck now.

Step 7: Look! It's DC's version of Milwaukee's sausage race, only with dead presidents! Things we learn: Teddy Roosevelt is a lout, a drunkard, and a skirt-chaser. George Washington pulls it out in the end. Abe Lincoln survives.

Step 8: Woot! Home team rallies to win. Kid in front of us cheers in the wrong direction, solemnly.

Step 9: What to do now? Philadelphia Water Ice, that's what. One mango, one pineapple, please.

Step 10: Mmm.

Step 11: Barbecue. Natch.

Step 12: Hot dog + ketchup + mustard + EXTREME GOLDFISH.

Step 13: Good day.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Photo Essay #10: Twenty-Four Hours in Ocean City

Our boss, who is the ruliest, offered to let us stay in his condo in Ocean City this weekend.

Because our weekend consisted of the hours between 10pm Sunday and 11am Tuesday, we decided to just make it a quick day trip. It's easy to have fun in Ocean City, even in the off-season. First, when you get there really late, crack open a couple cold brews, put them in your coozies, and watch some tube:

Next, it's imperative that you take advantage of your time--it's limited! So put those vacation guides to good use. Choose your restaurant by its name, and its name only. Of these, the contest is close; Tequila Mockingbird would be great on a hot day, but since it was a little chilly it seemed that Shenanigan's was the way to go. Nothing like some Shenanigans to keep a body warm, right? Right!!

Woo! The Boardwalk! They have a huge arch to let you know that this is indeed The Boardwalk:


Maryland likes suicidal hot dog sculptures. This one is out of ketchup. It's not really a hot dog without ketchup, though, so this one is safe for now.

Ooh! Ocean City is educational! Thomas Kinkade has purpose!

Ocean City has dwellings for all species. This is the most expensive dog house in the world.

I CALL BULLSHIT, FUNCADE CASINO. How can you not be open? What are the Russian seasonal workers supposed to do before the high season starts? There's only so many whipits to go around, you know.

Remember when I said that you can have fun in Ocean City, even in the offseason? I was LYING. You hear that, Shenanigans? YOU RUINED OUR MINI-VACATION. I hope you never forget that.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

A Weekend of Fancy Food, Translated into Still Pictures and Drawings

We had a big food weekend. First, we went to Dino in Cleveland Park and ate good Italian food in preparation for Spider-Man 3 (mini-review here). This is a polenta-prosciutto rollup that we created:

Delicious. Then on Monday, we went to the new Brasserie Beck where our friend Thor is now working. I didn't bring the camera, but they had the most amazing soup I've ever had. Split pea with veal-cheek sausage. Melts in your mouth:

Finally, yesterday we went to the new Hook, just opened by DC dreamboat-chef Barton Seaver, who totally touched Ana when he said hello, and she totally knows him but seriously she just loves his food she isn't really in love with him because they're friends! Gah! Did you see how he touched her when he said hello!:

Biscuits with ham and pickles for an appetizer: nothing wrong with that, I say! Except for that restaurants can't make a good biscuit to save their life. But the ham was delicious.

Then two fishes I've never had before: Blue- and Weak-. Both fantastic and ethical!:

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Three Options for the Wearing of Your New Jordan III Reissues

So you've gotten your Jordan III Reissues. You'd like to wear them out on the town. You have your toothbrush ready, your shammy in your pocket. But what's the best way to wear them? You have three options:

1) Shorts, no socks: Show them off! Why buy them if they're going to be competing with other pieces of clothing?

2) Matching socks: If you do decide to complement your new Jordans, you can't just throw on any old pair of socks. They should match, and should be nearly as awesome as the shoes themselves.

3) You need to wear the long pants, you say? No problem. The solution is easy: just tuck them in! Seriously! Wear them like this. People will notice!

Wednesday, May 2, 2007


I've discussed this with a few of my friends, but I've been meaning to graph it for a while. Periodically, people make fun of the way I pronounce the word "lawyer." I pronounce it correctly (it's "law" with "yer " tacked on the end of it, not "loi" with "yer"), but those people say I'm wrong. It's a shame.

Summer Shoes!

Gotta keep them icy!

I'm sure I'll have something more interesting soon. But the Jordans have taken up much of my thoughts of late.