KEEP D.C. BORING (THIS TIME WITH LINK)

Sorry, forgot to link to the actual shirt.

Big Brother! (Not so good at math)

So I just got this ticket for running a red light, a violation which I'm sure I probably did. But when looking a little closer, I noticed that the ticket says I was traveling 92mph in a 25.



The citation does not include speeding, however. Which makes sense, since there is no possible way I was going 92mph.

I would challenge the ticket except I'm sure DC would find a way to charge me retroactively with reckless driving, suspend my license, get me fired from my job, and confiscate my personal possessions.

Last Train to Strageville, pop. YOU

It's pretty rare that I get down near the White House, but I was in the neighborhood today so I rode by. Even the process of building the inaugural stands has a feeling of excitement about it--there were dozens of people there taking pictures of it, just like me.




Even though the city is going to be overrun, and the inauguration will likely be mayhem, I'm looking forward to seeing it. For five minutes. And then going home to my non-$1000/night apartment.

Plus, who knew the White House would wear the AIDS ribbon?

Also when I was at Kinko's somebody had left the last page of their screenplay in the copier. I don't know what that says about the writer, or the screenplay itself, but I really want to know if "Strageville" is a typo for "Strangeville" or not. I really hope so. Because Strageville doesn't seem like a place that could KILL YOU...


This makes me wonder if there is a competition out there somewhere for best final page of a screenplay. If not, there should be.

The Reason for MySpace Revealed.

I do not care if you like football or live in DC. I have slept on this for too long.

Poor-Quality Neighborhood Pictures: Lawn Lion, Alien, Pizza

There's a new pizza place a couple blocks from us that acts like it's all good and everything so we tried it today. Verdict: it's hell of good. Look: between us we got three slices and a sorbillo and I didn't think to take a picture until this was all that was left:


On the walk home I saw two houses I've been meaning to take pictures of for a while. The pictures didn't turn out so good but so what.

First: A bay window with a green plastic alien wearing an "Impeach Bush" necklace poster. People are shameless.

Second: A large plaster (?) lioness lawn sculpture.


Jenny Miller answers the question I've been wondering about for months.


Best LOLCAT ever

Atlas District Schmatlas District

After working on H St. for long enough, we haven't been back in a while. Which is a shame, because there's lots of good things about it.

A) The Pug, which I've mentioned before, but never mentioned the fantastic signs over the bar which you can't read here: NO SPECIALS NO SHOOTERS NO POLITICS NO FIGHTING.



B) Al the bar cat at Palace of Wonders.


C) Cobra Kisses, co-worker's hair band playing at Red & Black. Possibly the best encore/road ballad ever written (scroll down their MySpace playlist to "Gaping Hole").

Baseball Amid the End of the World

DC's new baseball stadium, which cost $4.6 billion, has been open for a couple weeks now so we decided to take in a game this afternoon. The weather has been beautiful, but it's April so that couldn't last:

On the whole, the new stadium is fine. Only problems: it took longer to get a hot dog than to actually travel to the stadium (20 minutes vs. 15), and the stadium is basically a concrete-and-steel copy of Turner Field, only without the charm.


The fact that none of the awesome options for interesting design were taken advantage of (no miniature white house for the Presidents to emerge from for their race? No miniature Ford's Theater for Lincoln to retire to at the end of the game?) is kind of disappointing.

And look! Teddy cheats and still loses! What a maroon!

On the positive side, I can't wait to find out who the stadium sponsor is going to be.

Anyway, the apocalypse wasn't sitting well with Ana, who was being a total downer:


So she spilled her beer on this druid that was sitting in front of us who probably then cursed our progeny for generations to come:


Then I took a quick PR shot and we got the hell out.


Verdict: stadium sucks when it's cold, add more hot dog vendors.


I saw this credit card slip at the end of the night last night, and initially thought it said "UR FAT" and got really mad.


Teebz and a couple of his coworkers got tattoos of a deer with a beard wearing a plaid shirt. One of the best brotoos ever.

This is the Beginning

DEFFO!: Today we visited the DC grand jury, as pictured above. That is the depressing row of seats I looked at before testifying. Now I know that the Law & Order franchise romanticizes the courtroom, and that legal proceedings are usually bland and whitewashed, but calling this thing a grand jury was a travesty. First, the case we were there for was a purse snatcher, who took A's purse (along with another woman's) when we were at dinner last month. The man charged is apparently a professional, so A and I were expecting that maybe he would get charged with some sort of serious crime, like Grand Burgling or something. The actual crimes he's (probably) going to be charged with: 2 counts misdemeanor robbery and one count misdemeanor credit card fraud (from when he used the other woman's card to buy some guacamole at a restaurant a block away, which led to his capture).

For these three counts, he'll probably serve like a month in jail. The proceedings will take upwards of three months, and will probably cost $864,342.25. Woot!