I Have Gone Lunatic

Just figured out how to import this to Tumblr, which is what I want for whatever reason, thanks to Eric. So for the time being you should go here: Definitely Totally

New Tumblr! Plus, Blay Vol. III

I've been twitterizing my landlord enough that I realized I should probably just give him his own web presence. So here's a new thing to look at. I'll update whenever a) landlord rocks out to rock music or b) landlord has shouting match with wife. Enjoy!

Blay vol. III: On Brand Awareness, and Strange Decision-Making Practices.
Plus, Fruit is for the Weak

This one requires a little preface: 1.) Dogfish Head Brewing Co., which produces aggressively flavored craft beers, has become a pretty well-known brand in the region--so much so that people often order the brand instead of the beer itself. 2.) Blue Moon is a very mild, mass-produced beer. (As in: nearly the opposite of Dogfish beers.)

Int., night, a bar. Two men approach.

Dude #1: (To me.) Hey, man. How's it going.
Me: A+
Dude #1: Do you have any Dogfish?
Me: Nope
Dude #1: Aw, man! I thought you carried Dogfish.
Me: We do, periodically. Just not at the moment.
Dude #1: (To Dude #2.) Have you had the Dogfish 90 Minute IPA? It's AWESOME.

Dude #2 agrees.

Me: If you like the 90 Minute, I've got a couple beers in the same style that you'd probably like.

Dudes look at each other.

Dude #1: (Shrugs.) Couple of Blue Moons?
Dude #2: Oh yeah. Awesome.

I pour the beers.

Dude #1: You can leave the orange off mine. (To Dude #2.) You want an orange on yours?
Dude #2: No, dude! No fruit on my beer!

Dudes give each other a double hi-five.

Dudes #1 & 2: Yeah! No fruit on beer!

New Bike Times USA: Adios to Technology

I walked into the bike shop today thinking about ordering this bike (since nobody ever carries my size), and what was it that you knew, but there it was, in my size. So I bought it.


The good thing is that I got to take it for a test ride without feeling guilty if I didn't like it. But I did like it. Who knew that ditching a freewheel makes riding uphill that much easier?

DeffoProductReview! LG VENUS!!! Verdict: Jealousy-Inducing and Cryptic

So I got a new phone because my RAZR, the phone which everybody hates and has always hated, started to crap out after two years. After exhaustively researching the phone that would make people the most jealous of me, I decided on the LG Venus, which is basically like the LG Chocolate but bigger and more celestial. So I ordered it from the Verizon website last week.

(Oh wait! You already know this story. It ends with me calling Verizon, them telling me they never got the order, me going to the store to buy it, only to come home to an email from Verizon with my confirmation number for the order that doesn't exist. Thank god I just re-upped for another 2 years! But anyway, I got the phone.)

Verdict? It's totally gonna make people jealous. Especially the music player! You can upload mp3s from your computer and listen to them on your phone! Zzzz! WITH BLUETOOTH! I zapped a couple over after I got home and fired it up... Look!


Wait, Venus! I just did add songs! Why you asking me to add some mores? That's weird as hell! Oh well, not to worry. I'll just use the ol' V-Cast music service, which is made by Verizon for Verizon and is pretty much just like perfect.


Maybe I'll download Chris Browzzle's new jamzzle so I can listen to it and use it as a ringtone! That will be sick!


I keep trying, Verizon V-Cast Music Service, and you keep asking me to try again! HOW LONG DO I KEEP TRYING?!

Luckily, there is a fallback plan: I can always hook the phone up directly to the computer, like analog style. Glitch-proof, if you will:


I guess the phone needs its software to "interface" with my computer. Let's give that a try! Mac, do your business! Click on the ol' install icon:


It's gonna take me forever to figure out what this means, so I'll just click on the next icon! Ooh, it's opening a program!!!


In conclusion, it's weird that Verizon wants me to play 4-in-a-row in order to download music to my phone. Cryptic, even.



BONUSBONUSBONUS Proof that Ana actually likes fat cat