DEFFOVERSARY PHLOGIVERSARY CLIP PHLOG OMG PLUS CONSUMER WATCH 2000 PLUS BEST GIFT EVER

On this day one year ago, we experienced the DC judicial system from within, which somehow prompted me to begin phlogging. A year later, and how far we've come! I've phlogged about things 147 times. That's once every two and a half days!

Mostly it has had to do with cats, but also other things sometimes.

What do I have for you lo on this wondrous phlogiversary? A quick look into the nefarious innerworkings of corporate America!

See, a couple weeks ago I needed a suit, so I went to Bloomingdale's. Natch. They had a sale. Bernard (my fashion consultant) hooked it up

(Ana is her own fashion consultant) and even persuaded me to open up a Bloomingdale's account.


Not only an insider, people. PREMIER INSIDER. I saved $47.

I'm pretty sure the only other store credit card I've ever had was for Structure, which I opened with the purchase of a pair of cargo pants and never paid.

But anyway. I received my card in the mail last week, but it wasn't accompanied by a bill or a billing address, or my balance. So I went online to pay it off today (I'm pretty sure the APR is somewhere around 47%), and after a thorough search of "Bloomies" (premier insider jargon) online, I realized that it is impossible to pay one's Bloomingdale card balance on the internet.

I then called customer service, which told me that I could pay my balance at any Bloomingdale's store. That seemed like a hassle, so I asked if I could pay over the phone. Sure, they said, but it's going to require a $10 processing fee. Those damned corporations! Geniuses! I paid the $10.

Thus concludes my consumer lesson for 2008.

BONUSBONUSBONUS I forgot to include a picture of Ana's secret santa gift from Abe a couple weeks ago, so here it is: The Best Present Ever:

Now, I know you can't read it, so here's the transcription:

ANYONE FUCKS WITH ANA
GETS HACKED UP AND SEALED
IN A 55 GALLON DRUM

I particularly like the specific nature of the threat.