Negative Adjective Bonanza
If you're not already addicted to Yelp!, you should be. Where else do you get to read people's unchecked narcissism mixed with their unchecked hatred of life?
Sometimes you find gold mines like Jeff "Cognoscente" G., who apparently is a male model of some sort,
and who, it seems, reviews every establishment he comes across. Like, for instance, this gem about a store that sells light fixtures:
TERRIBLE! AWFUL! DESPICABLE! WHAT A WASTE OF TIME! ABYSMAL!Now THAT's a review.
But that's just a taste. He reviews two (2) different Whole Foods (both 5 stars), a car wash (4 stars), a liquor store (4 stars) and more.
But nothing compares to his review of my place of employment. Behold, the adjectives he uses to describe the service:
ATROCIOUSI wish I could remember this dude so I could replicate whatever inane service he got.
UGLY
FUMING
DESPICABLE
DEPRESSED
DESPERATE
ugly
snooty
inane
sarcastic
rude
ignorant
bloated
weirdo
5 comments:
wow. this is good. the review for Boconcepts is the best. I am happy to know how often he has animalistic tantric sex with his petite asian girlfriend. barf
Also of note. A 5 star review for royal palace. Now thats class!
my favorite is Citron:
CHARLATANS! SCALAWAGS! VARMINTS! IMPS! PUNKS! BUSTERS!
omg he reviews a futon store AND a rehab clinic (5 stars each). The fact that he recommends going to town tavern instead of the Hunt....PRICELESS! AMAZIN! INSANE! NOT ABYSMAL!
I think Yelping must be his part time job. This fella is cranking out four, five, six quality reviews EVERY SINGLE DAY.
My favorite among a glittering galaxy of favorites is probably the reference in his Five Guys review to the "pungently malodorous reeking peanut oil!"!!
And personally, I'm relieved that the BOOTYLICIUOS [sic]! GORGEOUS! BANGIN! girls at Royal Palace "NEVER NEVER EVER GIVE [him] THAT 'SHOW ME THE $$$!' VIBE!" Justice prevails in Jeff G.'s world.
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