THE WORST, MOST TROGLODYTE, INANE, ASININE, CORNSWAGGLED, OBSTETRITIOUS DAY IN HISTORY

Jeff G. has been BANNED. For what, you ask? For "violating" something Yelp! calls its "terms of service," whatever that means. I'm guessing that their terms of service must preclude its members from being AWESOME.


So what do we do, people? We do what those Boy Scouts did in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington: write hundreds of letters that Jeff G. can present at the Senate hearing on his banishment. Below is a form letter that you can cut and paste for yourself:

Dear Yelp!,

I am a PERTURBED Yelp! citizen. Why, you ask? I'll EDIFY, ENLIGHTEN, and ENDUE you: you have banned the best reviewer on Yelp!, that's why. Jeff G., of Washington, DC, has BEQUEATHED the most EXCEPTIONAL, FAVORABLE, FIRST RATE, GNARLY, GRATIFYING reviews to us, his readers, over the past few months.

Please, Yelp!. Do not take Jeff G. away from us. You are our only hope.

Signed,

[You]

Now head here and make this travesty go away.