BEHOLD THE LONGEST BLOG POST IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD WIDE WEB SLASH I AM BACK

In retrospect, it seems my obsession with Jeff G was really just a ploy to give people something to read while I didn't post for six weeks. Did it work? Probably. Also, look at his most recent gem (IT'S LIKE A MOVIE!!)!

But anyways. I've been very busy going to work on some days and still waiting for the Bronco I bought seven years ago to be street-legal (actually just five months), which might happen this month? Things have been happening, like one guy drove it out to another guy in Sterling where they pulled out the engine and machined it. For those of you not in the know, you might think the previous sentence is redundant (on account of how an engine IS a machine, so how can it be "machined?" But don't worry, "machining" is really just a fancy word for "fixing." Rednecks, I've found, don't really like to make up new words so they just use the same ones in different ways. (Hence carburator.)

Really I'm just excited because Patso gave me this carwarming gift.


Speaking of Peter Cetera, dunno if everyone knows about his semi-ongoing feud with his Twitter awesomepersonator/impersonator (@PeterCetera/me), which generally includes strangers saying nasty things. Here's a few good ones:

@indonesiatogo (aside: I wonder if this name is "Indonesia To Go" or "Indonesia Togo"? It really could be both, as neither makes sense. How do I get a country to go? What relationship do Indonesia and Togo have with each other?) sez: @petercetera is a dipshit @tweetercetera is the real deal.

I'm pretty sure he doesn't know either person, so his judgement seems pretty hasty.

@KennyCetera (FOR REALS PETER CETERA HAS A BROTHER WHOSE NAME IS KENNY AND IS A SINGER OF SOME SORT--warning--do not listen if you do not want to be sad) sez: @PeterCetera you're an idiot RT Find out who he is and pubslish his personal info. No wait, he wants the attention.

@Worm0082(!) sez: @PeterCetera SCUMBAG!

And finally, my favorite:

@cidaliacastro sez: @PeterCetera JERK. Burn in hell, mutherfucker.

Ms. Castro damns @PeterCetera TO HELL. Seems a pretty stiff punishment for essentially making a celebrity appear way more interesting than he really is. Cross reference one of Peter Cetera's (whose handle is @tweetercetera, for serious) actual recent Twitter posts (Out here in the high desert with bro and all the girls...Well folks, certainly no rain here but my bro hoped I'd brind some.It's dry bye.pC) with one of @PeterCetera's: Sometimes a warm two-handed handshake is a suitable replacement for a hug. Other times, you just need to put on "You're the Inspiration." COME ON NO CONTEST
Whew. Writing about Twitter is annoying.

In other news, a person down the street planted a banana tree, adding sand at the base as if the tree would get tricked into thinking it was in the tropics. This tree is dying a slow death.


In the "Things that Gross Me Out That Really Aren't That Gross" category, this unopened can of tuna somebody left at work.


We saw Sonic Youth last week. They're old, yes, but they haven't started wearing studded belts and lamé t-shirts. That said, it wasn't the best show I've ever seen, but it was still enjoyable. Their catalog is big enough that they could play probably 200 songs I've never even heard. Which was the case this time. Requisite bad picture:


For those of you who don't live in DC, the Real World has deigned to film a season here! We're in 23rd place, just after Cancun! Here is a picture of a boom mic that I almost ran into when trying to get lunch the other day:


Your stimulus tax dollars at work: take a dog park and turning it into a dog park WITH GRADED HILLS AND LANDSCAPING! $1 million.


Ana's stupid cat is terrifying, BTW.


This is very old but I still want one.

I KNEW the ladies had some particular length of eyelash that they used to seduce me!!!!!!!!


Remember when I posted every time I went to dinner?


Last month Ana went to California and I went to Atlantic City to play cards with this drunk Bruce Dern impersonator.


I HAVE BEEN LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR TRANSFAT-FREE CRABBERS WITHOUT ANY TRANSFAT


Sparkling wine!


Sold the old bike.

July 4th=canned beer.

Smile.