Novella Friday

Clean little narratives don't just create themselves, people. Sometimes you have to put things together and let enthalpy figure it out.

CHAPTER ONE

The other night we got home and there were a few signs that something was afoot:

1. There is a backpack that must belong to a dude.
2. There is an iPod.

What can be happening?!


Empty can of Schlitz malt liquor is happening.


Snoop on vinyl + Starbucks has been happening.


I totally figured it out at that point though because there's this dude that works at Starbucks that we know and I have this picture of him:


Evan: You're welcome.

CHAPTER TWO

All the anger and violence toward sea bugs from a couple days ago wasn't just for funs. It was for eating!


Ana made four sauces to make the notoriously dry, tasteless lobster meat come to life.

1. Cerrano pepper something sauce
2. Mango chutney something sauce
3. Roasted tomato something sauce
4. Cerrano pepper something sauce with mint (mint is gross to eat so she made two separate batches-one for people that like to eat gross things and one for people that don't)

Then we each ate the equivalent of two lobsters and passed out for six hours.

CHAPTER THE FINAL

Cats!

Punk has taken to sitting on this empty Budweiser case outside of PJ Winkleman's hovel. It gives her a more advantageous vantage point, what with the elevation and everything. She likes to sit there and stare at PJ or where she thinks PJ may be. I'm pretty sure Punk has gone blind, for serious.


Blind people walk toward shiny things, right? Like big flashes of light?


Anyway, so this morning I was at the store and the guy that works there was all, hey, you're early today, as if it's any of his business, but I was there like five hours earlier than normal and I wanted to say yeah, it's hard to keep sleeping when new cat is peeing on you, but I thought he wouldn't have understood and it probably would've been really depressing for him when all he was doing was being nice.

In other news, new cat almost used the litter box this afternoon.

I'll let you put the pieces together.

She's also not allowed in the bedroom for the time being.

In place of the bedroom, she's building a bomb shelter:


BONUSBONUSBONUS you're gonna get some more of this


and maybe a dash of this (Vegans with guns! Eep!)


come Monday. Git ready.