Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Two Reviews in One Day OMG ICBITIFA

In his review of this phlog, Patrick asked for more reviews of things he'd like to eat. Two months later, I get around to it.

Behold something I'm betting Patrick likes to eat Vol. 1:

STAR CRUNCH


Star Crunch, for the sad and pathetic among you who don't know, is a Little Debbie product consisting of the following, probably: chocolate, caramel, rice crispies, soy lecithin.

First off, the packaging:

1. The shit is 35 cents. Can't beat it.
2. Star Crunch is not a meal, people. It is a snack.
3. Since there is nothing star-related in the snack itself--it would be more aptly named ChocoCrispyCrunch, in my opinion--Little Debbie had to add some star bursts to justify calling it Star Crunch. Which is cool with me.

Now the product:

The delicious center is chocolatey and gooey, true, but the true joy of eating a Star Crunch is in the anticipation. See it is imperative that one nibble off the outer coating of rice crispies--which are lightly coated in chocolate and really don't have much taste or texture and aren't very rewarding at all as far as snacks are concerned--before taking a full bite. Withholding that immediate sensory pleasure makes the experience that much more rewarding. Believe it.

In other news here's the tentative route for Road Trip USA, set to leave June 1:


View Larger Map

So here's your job, people. Give us places to visit in the following cities:

1. Pittsburgh
2. Columbus, OH
3. Cincinnati
4. Louisville
5. Bowling Green, KY
6. Nashville
7. Memphis (aside from the obvious)
8. Jackson, MS
9. Baton Rouge, LA
10. Houston

PS: ICBITIFA = I Can't Believe It This Is Fucking Awesome

9 comments:

katie2 said...

OMG you're going to miss Dollywood! I guess knoxville is too far east. Looks like it will be an awesome trip though!

nush said...

disney world

ga aquarium

grand canyon

that geyser thing that shoots up in that park (tip of my tongue, i swear)

mexico

DeffoTotes said...

um dog none of those things are anywhere near where i'll be what are you trying to make me stay on the road forever?

nush said...

OLD FAITHFUL AT YELLOWSTONE!

YES!

http://www.yellowstone.net/webcamlive.htm

um, and about it being far, whateveRRRR..i just named some awesome stuff--its not my fault youre going to sucky places that arent awesome like the stuff i suggested.

anne said...

once you get to pittsburgh you won't want to go anywhere else, but you should def go to church brew works, fatheads, primanti bros, kaya, the dish, the strip district, and the warhol museum

DeffoTotes said...

I can do all that in an hour, right?

Natalie said...

In Nashville you should be sure to drive drive down I65 S (or maybe West) long enough to see a huge, hideous, cartoon-faced statue of Nathan Bedford Forrest (on private property surrounded by razor wire). It's close to Brentwood/Franklin and if you go all the way down there your chance of seeing a country star from the 90's is about 95%. I mean, if you like Trisha Yearwood...that's all I'm saying.

Also:
Pancake Pantry. Best pancakes I've ever had. You have to wait in line, but it's worth it. Get hash browns too. If you are there when pancakes aren't available then Baja Burrito should be your second choice.

DeffoTotes said...

It's like you know exactly what I want out of a road trip.

anne said...

church brew, primanti, and fatheads, in an hour? yes. will you have ingested excellent beer and sandwiches as big as your head? yes. will you be able to move? no