Another Year Older and More Stuff, Plus+++!!!

Hey, Gang! I'm 30! The big 3-0! Over the hill! The new 20! For the festivities, all I asked for was what every red-blooded 30-year old would want: ice cream cake, candy, stuffed animals, t-shirts, DVDs, comic books and sneakers. Guess what? Mofos came through.

First, Noms got her friend who owns a Baskin-Robbins (we know people) to make an ice cream cake with a picture of me eating a frozen banana on it.


It was delicious.

Corrie and Jordan got me candy. M&Ms make dark chocolate peanut candy now. Game over.


Next, Wendy and Mikey got me a stuffed wildcat, which is the product of an extended inside joke that is much too bad to be shared here. Luckily, the stuffed wildcat can talk, which is just awesome enough to share here:

Joe got me T-Shirts from the show that he attended before the party; they're pretty awesome, but not nearly as awesome as the gift he gave me the next day.

Naomi got me this one:

Greg and Kyle gave me this picture:

Brian, who came as Michael's emissary (for some reason he couldn't make it--something about being "stranded" in "Japan"), gave me a "Lady Catchin' Sac." This means that he doesn't like Ana. Don't tell.

First part of the Lady Catchin' Sac is a DVD wherein Lyn teaches me some magic tricks:

Next is some sounds of puppies, kittens and more, with which to melt the hearts of the ladies:

And finally, fireside reflections with which to bed the ladies. I haven't tried the system yet, but I'm pretty sure it's failproof.

Other Brian gave me what looks to be the best family-friendly DVD of all time, starring Rupert Grant of Harry Potter fame:

That's right! It's about a youngster who can't stop farting and goes into space!


Kyle gave me fancy comic books. Perfect for eating candy with.



Joe got me some Atlanta-themed sneakers, which he thought I'd be interested in for some reason. Look! Atlanta likes sports cars!


Finally, Murph got me Windows XP so I could use my new phone. I decided, however, that it would be cooler to just wipe out my entire hard drive instead. How am I supposed to understand these directions?

I'm not, I say.

So I call Murph and tell him that compruter no work, and he proceeds to roll by and spend the next ten hours typing in "commands" into "interfaces" that in the end allow him to find most of the stuff that I erased. Thank God: a year's worth of pictures of my drunk friends have not been lost to the ether.


That, and then later Jesus gave me birthday snow!


BONUSBONUSBONUS

PJ's absentee owner requests an update.

Update: PJ still running the shit:


Look! Video proof that PJ is alive!