Tuesday, November 27, 2007

DeffoProductReview! LG VENUS!!! Verdict: Jealousy-Inducing and Cryptic

So I got a new phone because my RAZR, the phone which everybody hates and has always hated, started to crap out after two years. After exhaustively researching the phone that would make people the most jealous of me, I decided on the LG Venus, which is basically like the LG Chocolate but bigger and more celestial. So I ordered it from the Verizon website last week.

(Oh wait! You already know this story. It ends with me calling Verizon, them telling me they never got the order, me going to the store to buy it, only to come home to an email from Verizon with my confirmation number for the order that doesn't exist. Thank god I just re-upped for another 2 years! But anyway, I got the phone.)

Verdict? It's totally gonna make people jealous. Especially the music player! You can upload mp3s from your computer and listen to them on your phone! Zzzz! WITH BLUETOOTH! I zapped a couple over after I got home and fired it up... Look!

Wait, Venus! I just did add songs! Why you asking me to add some mores? That's weird as hell! Oh well, not to worry. I'll just use the ol' V-Cast music service, which is made by Verizon for Verizon and is pretty much just like perfect.

Maybe I'll download Chris Browzzle's new jamzzle so I can listen to it and use it as a ringtone! That will be sick!

I keep trying, Verizon V-Cast Music Service, and you keep asking me to try again! HOW LONG DO I KEEP TRYING?!

Luckily, there is a fallback plan: I can always hook the phone up directly to the computer, like analog style. Glitch-proof, if you will:

I guess the phone needs its software to "interface" with my computer. Let's give that a try! Mac, do your business! Click on the ol' install icon:

It's gonna take me forever to figure out what this means, so I'll just click on the next icon! Ooh, it's opening a program!!!

In conclusion, it's weird that Verizon wants me to play 4-in-a-row in order to download music to my phone. Cryptic, even.

BONUSBONUSBONUS Proof that Ana actually likes fat cat


anne said...

so in conclusion verizon is crazy, cryptic, and frustrating and yet we keep extending our contracts anyway? i say this as i prepare to purchase the the lg voyager (i'm pretty sure it will allow me to teleport)

DeffoTotes said...

Yes. I looked at the Voyager, but I figured that any phone that comes with a touch keyboard AND a manual keyboard is a little suspect.

anne said...

but did you see the feature where it shoots lazers?

DeffoTotes said...

yeah- CDMA lasers. totally inferior to GSM lasers. duh.

Sherman said...

Anna has tabby arms.