DeffoTotes Presents: The Road to Stretchtown USA

I've never been what one would call "limber." In high school, I decided that stretching was for losers (which may still be the case) after Terry Pendleton, the Atlanta Braves' portly third baseman and champion of all things stretchy, seemed to pull a muscle every time he moved.

As the years have passed, though, I've noticed something interesting: my hamstrings have become less muscle-y and more akin to a mineral deposit. I realized that if it keeps up at this pace I'm in for a difficult time in the next thirty years:


As you can see, by 2028, I'll only have two options: stand or lay down. By 2038, I'll be needing some sort of inverted Craftmatic bed.

So in my never-ending quest to provide this blog with boring updates, I'll be tracking the progress of my attempt to touch my toes for the first time since 1996. STAY TUNED.