Friday, January 2, 2009

DYIR:PIWET (DeffoTotes Year In Review: Places I Went Edition) + Blay vol. IV: NYE Edition

1. LA + Environs
2. Harper's Ferry, WV
3. Richmond, VA
4. KY, TN, LA, TX
5. Vegas
6. Ocean City, MD
7. Cleveland, OH
8. Atlanta, GA

Blay, vol. IV: Liquid Courage/Dry Humor

Int., a bar. Closing time. A 20-something kid is slow to leave.

Boss approaches Kid, pats him on shoulder.


Boss: OK, man, finish up. We're closing.
Kid: Who the fuck are you!? Don't put your fucking hands on me!

Boss is momentarily surprised and doesn't respond.

Emp. #1: (to Kid) Dude, that's the owner. You might want to relax.
Kid: (to Boss) You better keep your hands off me!
Boss: (to Kid) All right, that's enough. Time to go.
Kid: I can't wait until this shitty bar fails and I can buy it myself.
Boss: OK.
Kid: How much did you pay for it? (Fumbles in his pockets, begins pulling out crumpled dollar bills, ultimately putting $14 on the bar.) I'll buy it from you tenfold!
Boss: Have a great night.
Kid: You know what's wrong with this country? Huh? NOBODY CARES ABOUT MATH ANYMORE.
Boss: Ok. Have a great night.
Kid: YOU have a great night! YOU have a great night!
Emp. #2: (Walking past Kid.) You're a night.

Scene.

2 comments:

TITTYBALLS said...

ME: CASE OF MILLER LIGHT IN MY HANDS
DUDE: PRETENDS TO OPEN CASE AND TAKE BEER
ME: "I WILL BREAK YOUR HAND"
DUDE: "I WAS JUST KIDDING"
ME: "I KNOW BUT I WASN'T"

Anonymous said...

sorry, kid, the cold war is over, nobody in the U S of A gives a fuck about math or science. i guess you will just have to wait for hamas and al quaeda to start getting competitive before big brother starts funding us to care again.